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Grace's Near-Death
Experience |
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The
following near-death experience appears in Dr. Cherie
Sutherland's book,
Within the Light.
Dr. Sutherland is a NDEr whose experience led her to conduct an
in depth three year study of the phenomenon. She is also the
author of
Reborn in the Light
which unfortunately is out of print.
She is a visiting research fellow in sociology at the University
of New South Wales. Following her research and publication, Dr.
Sutherland has lectured and become involved with a variety of
NDE projects. Below is the near-death testimony of Grace.
I was in
labor, for the first time, and it was an extremely difficult labor. I
was thirty and the cervix wasn't dilating properly, and nothing was
happening. This had just been going on and on and on, and it was
excruciating. I was starting to drift in and out of consciousness and
they were getting very panicky. They kept coming in and listening to the
fetal heart and checking my pulse. I think that's fairly normal, but all
of a sudden there seemed to be a lot of panic and they were wheeling
things in, and in and out, and suddenly I wasn't there anymore. I mean,
up until then there'd been an awareness of what was going on around me,
even though I'd been drifting in and out of blackness. But the last
thing I remember before I did move, or had the sensation of movement,
was, "We're losing her!" Then suddenly I was somewhere else.
I recall a
sensation of movement out beyond myself, like I'd left something behind.
And I seemed to move through a portal. There was a glow, but I didn't
seem to stop and think, there was no thought, there was no "Will I,
won't I?"
Just
suddenly, I found myself in a place, and it was a real place, and I was
there. I was standing just beyond the portal and I looked around me.
There was a intensity of color. It was a green, and intense emerald
green. It was like, there were gentle rolling hills, there were no
crags, no sharp edges, nothing that was cruel, nothing that was other
than gentle. The sky was intense blue, the scene was gently rolling
(I know you've heard this before, but that's what it was.).
And there
seemed to be figures, grouped, almost a theatrical grouping, like a
stage set. And at first they were just amorphous, shadowy figures and I
was peripherally but intensely aware of a grouping on my right, ahead of
me, but I hadn't really looked at it. I knew it was there but it was not
impinging on my consciousness too much at that stage - I was too busy
looking the other way.
And as I
looked one of the figures seemed to resolve itself, and I thought, "I
know that face," and I suddenly realized, "Oh God, it's my aunty
Hannah," who died eleven years ago.
And then I
saw my uncle Abraham, who died before I was born, and I knew them. They
were not speaking, their mouths weren't moving, but they were there, and
they were sort of there for me. I knew they were there to see me, and
they knew me, even though they'd never met me (I'm going to end up
crying). My granny, who I'd never met, my grandfather, just all the
people I've never known and even those I'd known a bit who'd died many
years before, or who'd even died recently, and they were there. Anyway,
then I turned and I looked at this figure standing next to me - it was
my father.
My dad died
when I was sixteen. I was a very rebellious teenager and we were always
at loggerheads. And the day he died, we were moving - we'd sold the
house and we were going to move into a flat - and he and I had a
towering row and I said to him, "I hate you," and did the normal teenage
ugly thing.
Anyway, he
went to the flat with the movers for the last time, saying he'd come
back and get me later on. I was waiting for Daddy to come back and the
afternoon wore on and there was no sign of him. It was growing dusk when
I saw a police car going past. Suffice to say Dad had had a coronary.
He died very
suddenly, there was no saying good-bye, there was no chance to say,
"Dad, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean that. I do love you."
It was just
... he was gone. And I never really was able to mourn properly - I was
sort of dashed off to Sydney to live with my mother. It was all very
practical:
"Now, don't
cry, you'll be all right."
But I always
had this terrible sense that I never had a chance to say good-bye, or a
chance to just say "I'm sorry."
And then
standing in that place, it went through my mind, "Is this real or is
this my imagination, because it's what I want to have happen?"
It's really
peculiar, but I actually thought that:
"Am I doing
this within myself because it's what I want?"
And then Dad
spoke to me. And he said, "No, honey" (because that was his name for
me). He said, "Honey, you're not imagining, it's not coming from
you, you're with me and this is our time to talk."
Anyway, we
talked, laid the ghosts to rest. And I looked down and there was my dog
Lucky. He died when I was very young, and he was just there. Of course
now if I was to go to the same place, my German shepherd would be there,
too. I'm quite looking forward to seeing Razzy again. Sounds crazy,
doesn't it?
I didn't have
any sense of time, I don't know how it was for, but we talked about all
sorts of things.
And I said
to him, "You must wonder what I've been doing, or you must sometimes
feel angry with me."
And he said,
"No. Here, what goes on in the world has no meaning."
He said,
"We're here to care for you, we're here to take you on."
And then
there was a sense of drawing back, and I panicked and said, "Dad, I
don't want to go!"
He said,
"You have to go, it's not your time yet, you must go back. You're going
to have a son, and you'll have to bring this boy up, bring him up
yourself."
Then Dad
told me my marriage was going to break up. (We'd only been married
just a year!)
And I
remember saying, "Dad, I don't want that to happen. I always thought
that when I got married, it wouldn't happen."
It was a
very intense feeling. I said, "Dad, I don't want to go - I want to stay
with you. Let me stay with you." I was most distressed, I didn't want to
go back.
He sent me
back. He told me that he would be there, he would be there again for me.
And I seemed to be moving back quickly, like, there was no sense of
travel, but just I was there.
And he
repeated again, "You're going to have a boy."
Then the
panic: I thought, "My God, I haven't picked a boy's name!"
And then I came through, I was there in the delivery room again, and I was
crying.
Anyway, many
hours later, my son was born by cesarean section.
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"When you were born, you cried, and the world rejoiced. Live
your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries
and you rejoice."
- Indian proverb |
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Copyright © 2010 Near-Death Experiences & the Afterlife
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