MaryJane

My name is MaryJane Escobar. I had a NDE when I was 20 years old on my birthday.

I was a troubled youth. I had my first child at 14. I was abandoned by my family to make my way on my own. When I was 18 years old, I gave my son to his father due to homelessness. I could not get over the separation from my child. It was the first experience that I had with unconditional love.

I fell into a relationship that was terribly destructive for me. I started using drugs heavily. I had no will to live and wanted to go and leave this life of hell forever. I got my wish.

I was up all night using drugs. I overdosed and went into convulsions. Just before it hit me, I shot out of the top of my head and lingered only moments while everyone freaked out. Then I was in a dark cobblestone tunnel that seemed wet. I was a sphere illuminating everything around me .

It felt to me like a completely natural state. I was flying so fast through the tunnel excited to reach the end. As I came closer to a bright light I noticed that the tunnel veered to my left. I was close and could now sense some kind of magnetic force pulling me into the light. It was incredible and overflowing with unconditional love, forgiveness, and empathy. I was completely surrounded by many spheres like myself. All of us were attracted to this huge sphere where all of the wonderful feelings were emanating from.

But just as quickly as I had got there I was sent shooting back into my body. There was a young paramedic holding me and calling my name and telling me to breathe. I was so angry! I had been robbed of peace, love, forgiveness, empathy, and deep understanding. I did not want to breathe. I kept resisting the paramedic and he just became more and more determined to keep me breathing and alive .

On my way to the hospital, he told me I had been dead. My heart had stopped just seconds under 5 minutes. He did not think he was going to be able to revive me. He was so proud and happy because he had saved my life. I was full of rage because I felt robbed of the one thing I had been seeking my entire life - love, understanding, and acceptance .

After that experience a chain of motion was inflected in my life. I became drug free. I married and had two more children and was reunited with my first child. I have been married to the love of my life for nearly 18 years.

Three years ago I began having dreams of being in a very bad head-on collision. I was so certain that I would die in my 89 Toyota Corolla. I could see my head hitting the windshield and the engine ending up on my legs. Extremely vivid and for 4 months. My husband became so concerned that he bought me a '97 Mazda 626. He brought it to my work and I got in and drove it. I sensed that this was a safety option and that I was being given a choice. Die in the Corolla or be injured and live with the Mazda.

I had it two weeks and I never made a payment when the car accident happened. I was hit on my head and my face was destroyed. My back and neck were disabled. I required four reconstructive bone grafting surgeries on my cheek bone, bones around the sinuses, and all the bone and root structure above where I once had teeth. I ended up losing thirteen teeth total. My thought just before we collided was that I will live through this. And I did. But I lost my identity. I lost my way of coping with stress by exercise and my career as Personal Trainer, Aerobics instructor, and Choreographer to fitness competitors .

I hid for an entire year while they worked on my face. But something very wonderful came out of all this pain and suffering. I developed a deep well of compassion for people, and then became extremely intuitive to the point where it sometimes scares me. Even though my life has changed so much from this collision, I have been able to open my own outcall training business and work with people who just won't step foot in a gym because of self-consciousness, work hours, or do not have the time to fit in for a gym.

It was a long road back for me. But I made it and developed quite an education in humility, forgiveness, sincerity and understanding. Also, because I lived through it, I learned so much more about the human body and dental care. Medical terminology has become so easy for me to understand.

I don't know if the head-on collision had anything to do with the NDE fourteen years prior, but I definitely feel that I was given a clear choice: leave this life and my beautiful children, grandchildren, and wonderful husband or stay behind but be forced into growth. I chose life. I chose to grow no matter how painful the growing pains were and sometimes still are.

Thank you for your time and allowing me to share.

MaryJane  HeartsRox@aol.com