Palden Jenkins

I had this poisoning thing on the 13th of August, 1974. What happened then was this:

I had two people staying with me at the time. One of them was a very close friend and soul-brother, an Australian guy called Mike. He was a Vietnam GI draft-dodger. We had lived together for about six months in North Wales. He lived with me and then he went away. He got involved with the "Children of God", a Christian cult at that time. He got married to this woman and brought her back. They spent some time with me in North Wales.

He was a natural green thumb so we ate wild salads. We lived in the wilderness.

It was summer and one day he brought back a bunch of herbs, greenery and stuff. He brought back something which looked like a white, small, dainty carrot. It turned out to be Hemlock Water Dropwort which is Europe's most poisonous poison. But we didn't know that. It's the one that Socrates used. The thing was, Socrates mixed it with opium which proved to be important because it reduced the spasmodic violence of it. Anyway, we ate our food.

I remember sitting there in the cottage and we were just getting on with our quiet things. I remember looking up at Mike and his eyes were kind of rolling. He was just making gurgling noises. I said, "What's up Mike?� He suddenly made a strangled half yell and jumped straight from sitting position up into the air in a what would be a paroxysm or a jerk. He fell down on his side and was out.

Mercifully, I had first aid training, so I looked after him.

I said to his wife, "Go to the nearest house. Go and get help." It was about half a mile away. As it turned out, later on, she apparently got to the house and dropped at the front door having knocked on it. We were 30 to 40 miles from the nearest hospital in Snowdonia, North Wales.

I was looking after him when then this buzzing started going in my head. I started losing consciousness. I eventually I got him sorted out and he seemed to lose consciousness. Then I went outside and I lay down just on the stones. I just went, "Aaah." I realized this is goodbye. You know? This is goodbye.

There was this funny instance when I woke up at one moment. It was dark and there were torches coming up. Something in me knew who they were.

I said, 'Him, in there, go to him first.�

Then, booink, I was out.

Then I woke up in the hospital. I was unconscious for eight days. My friend died of a brain hemorrhage because Hemlock is an enormous nerve poison and causes seizures.

What follows is an account of the NDE (the inner world) I had which was retrieved through hypnotic regression:

In the inner world, Michael and I were walking hand in hand towards the Pearly Gates. It really was the Pearly Gates! I never knew the Pearly Gates actually existed, but they did - at least, in my experience.

The wise guardian of the gate came. He welcomed us and addressed Paul (Mike had changed his name to Paul) in connection with joining the "Children of God." This wise being said some things to Paul such as, "Off you go. Go in through the gates." I was about to follow and he said, �Stop! You're not finished yet.�

I think he told me some things that I have no way of remembering what he said. I just remember the feeling of it. I underwent a kind of panic and disorientation. Because, at that particular moment, I was quite relieved to be out of this life business and going in to the Pearly Gates. That was alright by me. So I was a bit panicked to be told it wasn't going to happen. It was as if this being kind of just fixed me in an energy field. (I've found I can do this sometimes. For example, with Tulki (my son), there are times when Tulki loses it and I can kind of fix him in an energy field and he'll immediately just straighten up.)

Then he fixed me. He said something like, "The whole of your self is going to dissolve� or words to that effect. �And you are going to become something different.� It wasn't exactly words, but that's the kind of impression.

I was calmer, but still a little bit disoriented. I had enough of the experience of near-death from a couple of accidents earlier in life and I knew that the best thing to do at the moment was to let go. Let be. And so I did just that.

Then there was this beautiful experience. I was standing there as if this cloud of diamond fog (mist, diamond mist) kind of separated me from within myself. My selfhood kind of evaporating upwards - disappearing upwards into the void. It was as if my being was just being lifted up. My pain and the human woes were getting lifted up. It was one of those feelings of "Aahhhhh! Aahhhhhh!" (sounding hugely relieved).

Then there was a pause. He was still standing in front of me and had me fixed in an energy pod - a non-visible energy pod. Then suddenly it was as if another person suddenly dropped into me from above. It just came "joomph!" into me. It occupied my body. At that very moment (this gets confusing now), the old me just went "pop!" It kind of popped out to the side - back and to the side.

Suddenly (Now this is the interesting bit), it was standing perhaps a yard behind the body or energy-body that was me. The remarkable thing was that I was experiencing this from both places at the same time. The first experience was the me that had popped out. The second experience was the me into which this being had plopped. I was experiencing it simultaneously. I've experienced this since then in various ways. Because I do quite a lot of inner work nowadays, I experienced this since then. There was a poignant moment where the being that plopped out (I can remember the thought going on) thought, "Well, what happens now?"

I didn't feel as if anything bad was going on. There was a very matter-of-fact feeling to it; but, in another way it was like, "Whoaa!" It was amazing.

Then the Pearly Gates gentleman said something to me to indicate or instruct me in what I needed to do next.

Then, I was in my etheric body and I was still me; but, I was over there as well. I reached in to my heart and reached straight in to my heart. As I did that, it was as if there was a spark. I can only call it a static, stationary spark. It was totally of the nature of a spark but it was not sparking. I hope this is making sense!

I reached in and just took hold of the spark and I pulled it out of myself. It was almost like it was the length of my body. It was a very strange experience because I was totally willing for this to happen. But it was very weird, because I was taking my life essence out. Myself! And the heart was the nexus of it. I don't know if anything intervened. I don't think anything came in at that time, but basically, I took that spark and I just inserted it and pushed it in to the other me.

Hypnotherapist: "The one that popped out?"

"No. The one that had popped out was the me I've just been talking about from which I took the spark. I was putting the spark into the me that was still there - the me that had the other being who'd plopped into me, right?

It was a little bit tricky. It involved some fitting and I had to do it quite carefully. It was as if there were thought waves coming from the Pearly Gates gentleman as well, who was helping and guiding this, but it was me doing it. I had to fit this into the other me. Now at the same time, I was experiencing this from the other me. And I was experiencing (This is confusing) both.

Hypnotherapist: "You were both?"

"Yes, I was both. I was both doing it and being done to.

"There was a point where it just went "click!" It clicked in. Suddenly I could feel a slight bias of consciousness toward the me that had plopped out at that stage. But suddenly the consciousness clicked over to the other one much more, and so I was still conscious of the me that had popped out, but less so. It was as if the center of gravity of consciousness had shifted into the being out of whom I had popped and into which this other being had dropped. But the thing was, this other one who came in was me."

Hypnotherapist: "That makes sense. That's how I've always thought of walk-ins - as another aspect of yourself."

"Well, the way I came to understand it a bit later on, was as if we were brother souls. Actually, I use that word quite consciously to put in the masculine. In fact, I had some imagery (This is digressing a bit) where it was as if we were brother souls with a long-term specialist contract. The contract was that we were like marathon-runners and handing over the baton whenever necessary.

"I had reached a dead end in my awakening. I think it was possibly do to the use of acid and psychedelics in the 60s, but not in the negative, judgmental way that a lot of people would think. There was nothing going wrong; but the problem was, I was no longer going to be able to integrate into the modern world properly. I had gone off too much. I was still sane. But in a sense, I was in the 14th century or prehistoric times or somewhere else. I was not going to be able to integrate again - this was the insight I got. So I needed to be re-booted and have some parts replaced.

"So there was this transfer of this, what I can only call, life-energy or life-spark. I was very aware that as soon as it clicked in, that being into whom it had clicked (Who was me) was suddenly energized. I got an image here of Commander Data of Star Trek. There's a part of me which is a bit like Data in a way. Sometimes I go into this super-brain kind of consciousness which is a bit like Data. I've even got that little turn of the head sometimes. It was as if the being that had just received the spark suddenly just clicked. Also, my consciousness had shifted over. I was still in two but the center of gravity had shifted."

Hypnotherapist: "Was there anything else?"

"There was some sort of interaction between these two selves. It was as if we were saying, "Hello." It was a bit like some of the imagery that comes up in my life is about SAS work (Special Operations). It was a bit like we had met in the middle of the wilderness and there were some messages to get over before we parted company again. It was one of these quick five minute intense exchanges where this essential exchange had to go on with no niceties and no cups of tea. But it was through thought. Then there came a point where that came to a completion.

"Then, from the viewpoint of the me who had hopped out and then given its spark away, suddenly I felt as if the plug was pulled out. I started evaporating - dematerializing. There was this slightly tingly diamond evaporation. It was quite blissful - intensely blissful. That part of myself was dissolving - dematerializing. As soon as the spark had been given over and the essential exchanges had been made, there was no longer a purpose for that soul to be a constituted soul. So it just started evaporating. Now I was watching it from my other side or self.

"There was a feeling of an "out-of-your-body and your-body's-been- really-cold" deathly kind of sense. Then you come back in and perhaps you've had a hot drink or perhaps someone's given you a massage or something like that and you can feel the life-energy gradually filling your body. You can feel the systems coming up again - the warmth rising. There was an experience like that.

"Now I'm a single being but I've got a new (the same body) personality with many of the same brain-thoughts and things like that. I've got a new (what I can only call) soul, but that's not an adequate word for what had popped inside me. It was anchored by this spark which had activated the system and reintegrated it into one being. I was quite also surprised at the comfort of that.

"That's where I think this business of brother souls comes in. It's as if it was all very finely pre-calculated so that it would all exactly work. It was fascinating.

"Then I was with this Pearly Gates man, and he was giving me some quite lengthy instructions which (You know how it is in dreamtime. Time is a very difficult thing to estimate.) was probably ten minutes of teachings or instructions or exchanges. Then it was over.

"Suddenly, there was this process starting up where there was a rumble and a feeling that I was starting to get heavier. Then there was this faaalling... faaalling... aaaaaaah... kind of feeling. A feeling of going into the soup - going down into the thickness.

"There was an element in me of reluctance - but not exactly. It was the same feeling I had experienced in the pre-birth experience as well - a poignant mixture of reluctance and willingness - kind of "job-to-be-done" approach to things. It was kind of a, "Right lads, come on. We've got to get on with it and the sooner we get this over with the better." That kind of approach. I've always been like that really.

"I'm a Virgo - a very Saturnine Virgo. I've always been somewhat unwilling to be alive. But I also know that there is no alternative until the job's done and that I would regret it if I did otherwise. It's that kind of strange poignant mixture. This was the reincarnation process. It was like going down into the treacle - into the density. And that was really the end of the experience.

"I think I've included all the details, at least, the details that I've uncovered and I can remember. Actually, I only got this in the regression I did in 1994, twenty years after. I put in a lot of effort. I realized, golly, it's twenty years, so I decided I'd make an effort to try and get it."