blinkstar.gif (494 bytes) Stillhere

Well, here goes. I am not comfortable about posting my NDE experiences, but a friend of mine suggested it. I had two experiences as follows:

1970

I was seven years old having an asthma attack. I remember seeing the light from a flashlight in my face, shouting and the sound of my raspy breathing. It was nighttime. Then I remember dropping my pink bunny doll in a parking lot, I was being carried quickly in my mother's arms. Next I was above my body, seated with legs crossed, my arms around my knees watching the body' and a doctor and some nurses around the body. I felt something I can only describe as compassion and mild curiosity and pity at the same time. I saw the people working on me, but did not understand what they were doing. I heard someone say, We've lost her. And then my attention turned to where I was. I was in a dark place, on the edge of that place and the room below. I felt a deep peace and no fear at all, nor a desire to return to my body. I had the sense of a Great Presence coming towards me and could see some people in the distance walking slowly towards a bright glow. I knew I was not to join them. The Presence grew closer and I felt an indescribable love, compassion and joy wash over me. Then I knew with no words exchanged that I was being gently sent back to my body to my life. I accepted this and protested it in the same instant and was immediately aware of entering my body feet first through my head. It hurt physically and spiritually, like I was being squeezed into a space much too small for my spirit. I heard the sound of myself taking a breath like a swimmer breaking the surface of the water. I remember nothing more about that night except that I felt a deep compassion for other people afterwards and a sense of how big we all are spiritually. I have always remembered the strength, love and gentleness of God, a certain sense of humor, and the peacefulness of being in His presence."

1989

I had been drinking heavily for days with little or no sleep. I felt horrible about myself and had given up hope. I was definitely clinically depressed. After a night of drinking, I passed out and woke up in an unknown time later in my room on my bed - around morning. I tried to get up but my heart was pounding fiercely and I was passing out. I tried several times to get up thinking that I just needed to drink a beer or some wine to get to feeling better. I was feeling worse than I have ever felt before, like I was having the worst hangover of my life. But I did not care about getting up to get a drink after a time and I was just lying there. 

To my left there came clouds and a bright, white, orange and golden light. I turned my head and there came a man out of these clouds with other beings behind him a short distance away. He was wearing an orange and rust colored robe over a cream colored robe (like Jesus). I remember thinking that the colors were not what I would expect. This man had collar-length brown hair and a closely trimmed beard and mustache. The most remarkable feature about him was his eyes. The thought of his eyes brings me to tears sometimes. They were very large and very brown and he seemed to speak through them of supreme compassion, patience, indescribable love, joy and a complete acceptance of me just the way I was. I also felt that I had and always had his complete devotion and attention. 

He simply looked at me, though he did not speak, and asked me, Do you want to come with us now, or stay and fix your life?"

Then he just waited, smiling at me, gazing at me, while I considered the question and my life. There was so much I wanted to do and I thought of my daughter. I was very aware that if I had wanted to go with him it would have been an acceptable choice to him, but the decision was mine. At the moment of my decision to stay and fix my life, I was aware that I was never alone and that I would have all the help I needed to get through my life and do what I needed to do. I remember the certainty of that and an overwhelming presence of God and of this man that was looking at me with such total love. It felt like my soul expanded with every second in his presence. When I told him (without words) that I wanted to stay, he smiled, beamed at me and turned around and walked back into the clouds. 

I was able to get up with no heart pounding or hangover and made phone calls to my mother who called people to help me. I asked my mother to come over and she did. I was sober' for about 20 minutes to do all of this and then I spent the next five days in and out of consciousness having very bad withdrawals. But I remembered the man and the promise that I would have the strength and the help I needed. I am not alone and that I chose to be here to fix my life'.

As long as I can remember I have had some odd abilities that I just can't explain. I know that other people don't necessarily exhibit these things. I have noticed that I can't wear a watch, as they stop or run funny. I have experienced telekinesis, i.e. objects moving away as I reach for them or dropping off shelves, doors opening as I go to turn the handle, and then there is the blowing out of light bulbs. This is noticeable to my friends and has frightened some. I have to make a conscious effort to not blow lights out when I am in a certain intense state of consciousness, which I have learned to recognize. And another thing is that many, many people have told me that there is something' about me that they are drawn to. I just think I am unusually' compassionate, non-judgmental and a really good listener! Anyway, there is more, but I don't know how to put it into words. It is so complex. Sometimes I feel like a freak, but most of the time I feel fine because my experience happened when I was so young, so I have been this way for a long time.

 

"He who understands nature walks close with God." - Edgar Cayce

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