Various Near-Death Experience Research
The following are
the near-death experiences of others who
attempted suicide and are profiled on other
web pages on this website. I wanted to create
this page to consolidate all the experiences
caused by a suicide attempt. You will find
these experiencers to be heavenly (like
most are) and a relatively few experiences
that are less-than-positive. These experiences
are more proof that suicide NDEs are mostly
no different than other near-death experiences.
Return to Top
Helen's Suicide Near-Death Experience
In Jean Ritchie's excellent
she has documented the suicide attempts and subsequent
near-death experiences of a woman named Helen. Her
near-death experiences demolish the myths held by
many religious people that suicide and homosexuality
are one-way tickets to hell. Although today Helen
is very comfortable with the fact that she is a
lesbian, coping with it has not always been easy.
By the time she was seventeen, she was drinking
heavily and experimenting with drugs. Over the years,
her problems greatly escalated which led her to
decide to take her own life. After writing suicide
notes and taking an overdose of pills and drink,
Helen was rushed to a hospital in very serious condition.
Her heart stopped four times, she learned later
from the medical staff. The following is her experience.
I remember clearly floating
up above myself, and looking down on my body. It
was connected to numerous machines. I could see
the drip and the oxygen mask. I could see the doctors
working to restart my heart with electronic pads.
I could see that my parents were there. It felt
very peaceful, much better than where I had been
before. I was bathed in warmth and light, and the
calm was almost tangible. I felt it was up to me
to decide where I wanted to be, up there or back
in my body, but the peace was so overwhelming that
I knew I wanted to stay.
And then I was in a small
supermarket, floating between the aisles. It was
like any ordinary supermarket, with shelves loaded
with goods. My grandmother, who died when I was
very young, was at the checkout, and so was my auntie.
I knew without anyone telling me that it was my
auntie, my mum's sister, although she had died of
a brain hemorrhage before I was born. They were
beckoning to me to go to them, but through the plate-glass
window I could see my parents and my immediate family,
also beckoning and urging me to hurry.
[The next thing Helen
remembers is waking from her coma with the oxygen
mask pressing on her face and causing some pain.
She felt regret at having left the peace behind.
Helen's second near-death experience came a couple
of years after the first, after another suicide
attempt. This time she took pills and tried to swallow
bleach. Her partner found her and called an ambulance.]
I was drifting in and
out of consciousness, more out than in, but I remember
being wheeled from the flat on a stretcher. Again,
I floated above and could look down and see two
men carrying the stretcher, and I felt secure and
safe in the knowledge that I was walking away from
all the chaos of my life. Again, I felt it was my
decision to walk away. Then I remember a very powerful
force pulling me towards a serene, very beautiful
realm, a higher realm. I traveled very slowly along
a tunnel toward a bright light, and I could feel
an overwhelming sense of warmth and peace and whiteness.
I wanted to walk into the whiteness, which was so
tranquil and happy. It was like stepping into a
vacuum, there was nothing tangible, no scenery to
look at, but a tremendous feeling of being somewhere,
like nirvana. I felt okay, as though this was where
I was meant to be, as if I had arrived home, and
I was at ease with myself for the first time in
a long time.
I also felt at one with
the forces of the universe, as though I was part
of something much much bigger, and yet I was also
the whole of it. It was a tremendously powerful
feeling, and such a contrast to the despair and
depression that had led me there.
[This second time Helen
did not see any relatives, and although she experienced
the same sense of there being an element of choice
in whether or not she returned to life or continued
in that lovely place, she did not feel any panic
when she awoke in the hospital a few days later.]
I knew I had not wanted
to relinquish the good feelings the place had given
me, but at the same time I did not feel regret at
returning. This time, the experience seemed to give
me strength. I felt refreshed.
[She was told by hospital
staff that she was lucky to have survived. Helen's
two near-death experiences have taken away any fear
she may have had of death, and she now anticipates
that when it comes she will once again experience
those feelings of peace and tranquility. She does
not believe that her near-death experiences encouraged
her to make more suicide attempts: suicide, she
says, is born of despair with this world, not a
hankering after the peace and serenity of the next.
Eventually, Helen was able to beat her alcohol and
drug addiction. She is back with her partner, studying
for a master's degree and doing volunteer work.]
Return to Top
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' Suicide Near-Death Research
My most dramatic and unforgettable
case of ask and you will be given, and also of a
near-death experience, was a man who was in the
process of being picked up by his entire family
for a Memorial Day weekend drive to visit some relatives
out of town. While driving in the family van to
pick him up, his parents-in-law with his wife and
eight children were hit by a gasoline tanker. The
gasoline poured over the car and burned his entire
family to death. After being told what happened,
this man remained in a state of total shock and
numbness for several weeks. He stopped working and
was unable to communicate. To make a long story
short, he became a total bum, drinking half-a-gallon
of whisky a day, trying heroin and other drugs to
numb his pain. He was unable to hold a job for any
length of time and ended up literally in the gutter.
It was during one of my
hectic traveling tours, having just finished the
second lecture in a day on life after death, that
a hospice group in Santa Barbara asked me to give
yet another lecture. After my preliminary statements,
I became aware that I am very tired of repeating
the same stories over and over again. And I quietly
said to myself:
"Oh God, why don't you send me somebody
from the audience who has had a near-death
experience and is willing to share it with
the audience so I can take a break? They
will have a first-hand experience instead
of hearing my old stories over and over
At that very moment the
organizer of the group gave me a little slip of
paper with an urgent message on it. It was a
message from a man from the bowery who begged to
share his near-death experience with me. I took
a little break and sent a messenger to his
bowery hotel. A few moments later, after a
speedy cab ride, the man appeared in the
audience. Instead of being a bum as he had
described himself, he was a rather well dressed,
very sophisticated man. He went up on the stage
and without having a need to evaluate him, I
encouraged him to tell the audience what he
needed to share.
He told how he had been
looking forward to the weekend family reunion,
how his entire family had piled into a family
van and were on the way to pick him up when this
tragic accident occurred which burned his entire
family to death. He shared the shock and the
numbness, the utter disbelief of suddenly being
a single man, of having had children and
suddenly becoming childless, of living without a
single close relative. He told of his total
inability to come to grips with it. He shared
how he changed from a money-earning, decent,
middle-class husband and father to a total bum,
drunk every day from morning to night, using
every conceivable drug and trying to commit
suicide in every conceivable way, yet never able
to succeed. His last recollection was that after
two years of literally bumming around, he was
lying on a dirt road at the edge of a forest,
drunk and stoned as he called it, trying
desperately to be reunited with his family. Not
wanting to live, not even having the energy to
move out of the road when he saw a big truck
coming toward him and running over him.
It was at this moment that he watched himself in
the street, critically injured, while he
observed the whole scene of the accident from a
few feet above. It was at this moment that his
family appeared in front of him, in a glow of
light with an incredible sense of love. They had
happy smiles on their faces, and simply made him
aware of their presence, not communicating in
any verbal way but in the form of thought
transference, sharing with him the joy and
happiness of their present existence.
This man was not able to tell us how long this
reunion lasted. He was so awed by his family's
health, their beauty, their radiance and their
total acceptance of this present situation, by
their unconditional love. He made a vow not to
touch them, not to join them, but to re-enter
his physical body so that he could share with
the world what he had experienced. It would be a
form of redemption for his two years of trying
to throw his physical life away. It was after
this vow that he watched the truck driver carry
his totally injured body into the car. He saw an
ambulance speeding to the scene of the accident,
he was taken to the hospital's emergency room
and he finally re-entered his physical body,
tore off the straps that were tied around him
and literally walked out of the emergency room.
He never had delirium tremens or any
aftereffects from the heavy abuse of drugs and
alcohol. He felt healed and whole, and made a
commitment that he would not die until he had
the opportunity of sharing the existence of life
after death with as many people as would be
willing to listen. It was after reading a
newspaper article about my appearance in Santa
Barbara that he sent a message to the
auditorium. By allowing him to share with my
audience he was able to keep the promise he made
at the time of his short, temporary, yet happy
reunion with his entire family.
We do not
know what happened to this man since then, but I
will never forget the glow in his eyes, the joy
and deep gratitude he experienced, that he was
led to a place where, without doubt and
questioning, he was allowed to stand up on the
stage and share with a group of hundreds of
hospice workers the total knowledge and
awareness that our physical body is only the
shell that encloses our immortal self.
Return to Top
Lisa's Suicide Near-Death Experience
had a near-death experience several years ago. After
months of depression and physical pain from systemic
lupus, one day she took too many painkillers. Her
twin sister found her in the morning in a seizure,
half-flopped off of her bed. By the time she called
911, she had fallen on the floor and was in a full
convulsive state, curling up my hands in a fetal
position. Here is what she experienced in her own
"There was no
tunnel or light. I awoke standing upright
in the back of what looked like a large
auditorium-type place, without the chairs.
The wall were gold and had jewels embedded
in them. I was far in the back at first
and couldn't figure out where I was. There
were horns playing loud classical-type music
and it was a very formal-type ceremony.
There were dancers with beautifully colored
flags dancing in a supernatural sort of
way. I felt my presence coming in closer,
but I didn't feel legs moving underneath
"There was a long,
wide aisle with 10-15 men seated on each
side of the aisle. They were across the
aisle from each other, facing each other.
They had on robes and gold crowns, like
they were kings or judges. The seats were
tall, gold chairs and at the end of the
aisle was an empty chair. My presence came
in very close and then to the left side
came a man in a long, white, toga-type robe.
He had short brown hair and on his head
was a wreath of holly leaves woven together
with baby's breath. He smiled and approached
me with his right hand extended.
"He took my hand gently and said, 'Hi, Lisa.
I'm Peter, welcome to the festival.'
"With that, he
opened a large door and I entered a large
place that was mostly white space. There
were large white cloth-covered tables with
beautiful, succulent fruit and a large fountain
of red wine. There were just a few people
there, and they were dressed in normal clothing
"Just then I flashed
into a complete space of whiteness, but
it was not disconcerting like a haze of
fog would be. I was seated on the right
leg of a very large, strong presence with
huge, loving arms around me.
"A man's low voice said in my right ear,
'Lisa, they're working on your body, you
have to hurry. Do you want to go back? Your
son needs you.'
"I remember feeling confused like I was
not aware of what I had left behind.
"I didn't say anything and then the voice
said louder, directly in my ear, 'Lisa,
you have to hurry, they're working on your
body. Do you want to go back?'
"And even louder he added, 'Ryan needs you.'
"He put great stress on my son's name. I
immediately realized I had left my 9-year-old
son behind and then I woke up in the ambulance.
"They later told
me that I said, 'I wanted to be in Paradise
"That's my experience.
I'd love to hear your comments. I've not
read anything like this before. It was like
a movie, almost sounds cliché, I know."
Return to Top
Dalyrada's Suicide Near-Death Experience
I died I didn't see a tunnel or a white light or
any of that. I saw the Angel of Death sitting
cross-legged in front of me.
was the result of a suicide attempt [and a
damned effective one at that], and this Angel
was very angry at me for trying to whack myself.
We argued for about 8 hours [Earth time] before
I grudgingly went back into my body. During the
out of body time it was made clear to me that
the Angel of Death was God's messenger, and
frequently confused with, or assumed to be,
Lucifer / Satan.
"He looked fierce, made
out of black shadows, humanoid form, angular
face, glittering eyes, huge black wings pinioned
"Although he looked it, he
didn't seem frightening, for whatever reason.
The Lord [or Angel] of Death possesses a very
wonderful sense of humor which nobody ever seems
to comment on and he has a high level of
compassion towards the beings that he takes. He
is very self-aware and sees irony in his job.
"Kevin, your mentioning the Lord of Death
Tibetan Book of the Dead is,
in my experience, a perfectly accurate
description of who he is and what function he
performs - at least in my experience."
Return to Top
Edgar Cayce's Suicide Dream Interpretation
people came to
Edgar Cayce to have their
dreams interpreted. An example
was the dream of a young man about his
father-in-law, who had recently taken his own
In the dream a voice commented,
"He is the most uncomfortable fellow in the
world," and then the dreamer was shown his own
baby crying for food.
The image was to
convey the dead man's hunger for guidance and
spiritual sustenance, said Cayce. The next night
the dreamer heard the man's own voice, together
with "a wandering impression of restlessness."
The voice said, "I seek rest. I want to
leave and be with my family down there."
Again Cayce said the dream contact had been
authentic, showing the dreamer how much his
prayers were needed for the father-in-law, who
was still an earthbound discarnate. He added
that the reason the discarnate was turning
towards people in earthly life was that "the
lessons are learned from that realm, see?"
It was a point Cayce often made, that souls who
had once entered the Earth had to learn their
final lessons in the Earth, where will is called
into play in a fashion different from existence
on other realms.
Return to Top
George Anderson's Psychic Revelations About Suicide
Will a suicide progress?
"They can progress. This is why it's so important
that people, no matter what your religious belief
or persuasion, even if you're an atheist, remember
to pray for those who have passed on. Because that
embraces them in love and encourages them to progress.
The problem that the suicide faces in the next dimension
is that, when you arrive in the next level, it's
not the pretty sight that the average passing can
be. Their problem is that they cannot forgive themselves.
comes through in a reading and is starting to make
me feel as if they've taken their own life ...You
feel like you're in the presence of a ghost. There's
a chilling feeling. And it's very important that
those coming through acknowledge what they've done.
getting up and saying, 'I'm an alcoholic.'
forward and saying, 'I have taken my own life.'
"A friend of mine who
had recently taken his life came through and did
not know how to go into the light I kept telling
him to go forward to the light, but he was afraid
of judgment. He couldn't forgive himself. Also,
he was having a problem with the fact that after
he had taken his own life, his spirit obviously
lingered around the scene of the act. He could not
overcome the memory of his father's discovering
him, and that was haunting him emotionally to a
tremendous degree in the next dimension. What he
and many of us don't understand is that there is
judgment there, but it is not done by God on a throne.
Judgment rests basically with yourself. And we all
know that the greatest enemy we can face is ourselves.
"It can take eons of time
as we understand it before they go into the light.
It depends on the person. You're in control. You
hold the reins. Those who've come through those
darker levels have said that they've had to face
themselves and realize that if they don't shape
up, in other words, learn more about themselves,
they're not getting anywhere."
Return to Top
Nora Spurgin's Suicide Near-Death Research
What happens to one who commits suicide?
"The death of the physical body is determined by
natural law, which is governed by divine law. To
take one's physical life is to break that law, with
the result that there must be special care and arrangements
made in the spiritual world. In other words, breaking
natural law must be accounted for before one can
go to higher levels.
to some sources, because the person's life was cut
short and her work on Earth incomplete, it will
be necessary to live out this uncompleted time in
spirit aiding the very ones on Earth who were most
hurt by the suicide.
motivation for suicide is usually to avoid unhappiness,
we can assume that the spirit takes such unhappiness
into the spiritual world. Any problems experienced
on Earth are always better worked out on Earth."
Return to Top
Betty Bethards' NDE Revelations on Suicide
purgatory as a place or level of consciousness one
goes for further understanding. It is an intermediary
state that gives one the opportunity to develop
further clarity. At first it is like being in fog,
just as many people walk around on the Earth realm
in a fog. They don't have the clarity to understand
how they are setting their lives.
"If there has been much
negativity during an incarnation, or a suicide,
one must spend some time contemplating what has
"It is a holding place
where souls who are confused, who do not want to
let go of their earthly attachments, or who choose
not to grow will remain until such time as they
allow themselves to be released to flow once more
into the light.
"Purgatory is a place
of your own making. We see souls who are punishing
themselves here on the Earth realm. This continues
after death just the same as it would if they were
still in the physical body. Many people must suffer
in order to feel worth. When they finally learn
this is a negative number they are running, they
can move on."
Return to Top
Sylvia Browne's NDE Revelations on Suicide
to Sylvia Browne, upon death, most people go through
a heavenly process before entering into heaven.
Evil people, instead of experiencing the tunnel
and bright light upon death, are sent through what
Sylvia calls the "Left Door" and enter into an abyss
of empty, joyless, nothingness for a brief period
have reflected upon their actions, they are reincarnated
back to Earth.
commit suicide for less than justifiable reasons
are sent to a place Sylvia calls the "Holding Place."
must make a choice to either proceed through the
Left Door or embrace God and move on to the light.
the Holding Place shuffle slowly around in despair
in a gray fog with their heads down until they make
their decision. According to Sylvia this is purgatory.
Return to Top
Margaret Tweddell's Psychic Revelations on Suicide
"Persons who commit suicide before the time they
are meant to die find themselves in a state of heavier
vibration and closer to the Earth than those of
us who died natural deaths. They remain in this
state of density until the time when they would
have normally died. They then may pass into the
planes of finer vibration. People who have experienced
death through suicide are greatly helped by the
prayers and supportive thoughts from those still
on Earth. They are also aided by those from the
higher planes who are dedicated to help them grow
spiritually during the period of waiting."
Return to Top