Experiences and Research
The following are the
near-death experiences of others who attempted
suicide and are profiled on other web pages
on this website. I wanted to create this page
to consolidate all the experiences caused by
a suicide attempt. You will find these experiencers
to be heavenly (like most are) and a relatively
few experiences that are less-than-positive.
These experiences are more proof that suicide
NDEs are mostly no different than other near-death
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Suicide Near-Death Experience
In Jean Ritchie's excellent
she has documented the suicide attempts and subsequent
near-death experiences of a woman named Helen. Her near-death
experiences demolish the myths held by many religious
people that suicide and homosexuality are one-way tickets
to hell. Although today Helen is very comfortable with
the fact that she is a lesbian, coping with it has not
always been easy. By the time she was seventeen, she
was drinking heavily and experimenting with drugs. Over
the years, her problems greatly escalated which led
her to decide to take her own life. After writing suicide
notes and taking an overdose of pills and drink, Helen
was rushed to a hospital in very serious condition.
Her heart stopped four times, she learned later from
the medical staff. The following is her experience.
I remember clearly floating
up above myself, and looking down on my body. It was
connected to numerous machines. I could see the drip
and the oxygen mask. I could see the doctors working
to restart my heart with electronic pads. I could see
that my parents were there. It felt very peaceful, much
better than where I had been before. I was bathed in
warmth and light, and the calm was almost tangible.
I felt it was up to me to decide where I wanted to be,
up there or back in my body, but the peace was so overwhelming
that I knew I wanted to stay.
then I was in a small supermarket, floating between
the aisles. It was like any ordinary supermarket, with
shelves loaded with goods. My grandmother, who died
when I was very young, was at the checkout, and so was
my auntie. I knew without anyone telling me that it
was my auntie, my mum's sister, although she had died
of a brain hemorrhage before I was born. They were beckoning
to me to go to them, but through the plate-glass window
I could see my parents and my immediate family, also
beckoning and urging me to hurry.
next thing Helen remembers is waking from her coma with
the oxygen mask pressing on her face and causing some
pain. She felt regret at having left the peace behind.
Helen's second near-death experience came a couple of
years after the first, after another suicide attempt.
This time she took pills and tried to swallow bleach.
Her partner found her and called an ambulance.]
was drifting in and out of consciousness, more out than
in, but I remember being wheeled from the flat on a
stretcher. Again, I floated above and could look down
and see two men carrying the stretcher, and I felt secure
and safe in the knowledge that I was walking away from
all the chaos of my life. Again, I felt it was my decision
to walk away. Then I remember a very powerful force
pulling me towards a serene, very beautiful realm, a
higher realm. I traveled very slowly along a tunnel
toward a bright light, and I could feel an overwhelming
sense of warmth and peace and whiteness. I wanted to
walk into the whiteness, which was so tranquil and happy.
It was like stepping into a vacuum, there was nothing
tangible, no scenery to look at, but a tremendous feeling
of being somewhere, like nirvana. I felt okay, as though
this was where I was meant to be, as if I had arrived
home, and I was at ease with myself for the first time
in a long time.
also felt at one with the forces of the universe, as
though I was part of something much much bigger, and
yet I was also the whole of it. It was a tremendously
powerful feeling, and such a contrast to the despair
and depression that had led me there.
second time Helen did not see any relatives, and although
she experienced the same sense of there being an element
of choice in whether or not she returned to life or
continued in that lovely place, she did not feel any
panic when she awoke in the hospital a few days later.]
knew I had not wanted to relinquish the good feelings
the place had given me, but at the same time I did not
feel regret at returning. This time, the experience
seemed to give me strength. I felt refreshed.
was told by hospital staff that she was lucky to have
survived. Helen's two near-death experiences have taken
away any fear she may have had of death, and she now
anticipates that when it comes she will once again experience
those feelings of peace and tranquility. She does not
believe that her near-death experiences encouraged her
to make more suicide attempts: suicide, she says, is
born of despair with this world, not a hankering after
the peace and serenity of the next. Eventually, Helen
was able to beat her alcohol and drug addiction. She
is back with her partner, studying for a master's degree
and doing volunteer work.]
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Kubler-Ross' Suicide Near-Death Research
My most dramatic and unforgettable
case of ask and you will be given, and also of a near-death
experience, was a man who was in the process of being
picked up by his entire family for a Memorial Day weekend
drive to visit some relatives out of town. While driving
in the family van to pick him up, his parents-in-law
with his wife and eight children were hit by a gasoline
tanker. The gasoline poured over the car and burned
his entire family to death. After being told what happened,
this man remained in a state of total shock and numbness
for several weeks. He stopped working and was unable
to communicate. To make a long story short, he became
a total bum, drinking half-a-gallon of whisky a day,
trying heroin and other drugs to numb his pain. He was
unable to hold a job for any length of time and ended
up literally in the gutter.
was during one of my hectic traveling tours, having
just finished the second lecture in a day on life after
death, that a hospice group in Santa Barbara asked me
to give yet another lecture. After my preliminary statements,
I became aware that I am very tired of repeating the
same stories over and over again. And I quietly said
God, why don't you send me somebody from the
audience who has had a near-death experience
and is willing to share it with the audience
so I can take a break? They will have a first-hand
experience instead of hearing my old stories
over and over again."
very moment the organizer of the group gave me a little
slip of paper with an urgent message on it. It was a
message from a man from the bowery who begged to share
his near-death experience with me. I took a little break
and sent a messenger to his bowery hotel. A few moments
later, after a speedy cab ride, the man appeared in
the audience. Instead of being a bum as he had described
himself, he was a rather well dressed, very sophisticated
man. He went up on the stage and without having a need
to evaluate him, I encouraged him to tell the audience
what he needed to share.
told how he had been looking forward to the weekend
family reunion, how his entire family had piled into
a family van and were on the way to pick him up when
this tragic accident occurred which burned his entire
family to death. He shared the shock and the numbness,
the utter disbelief of suddenly being a single man,
of having had children and suddenly becoming childless,
of living without a single close relative. He told of
his total inability to come to grips with it. He shared
how he changed from a money-earning, decent, middle-class
husband and father to a total bum, drunk every day from
morning to night, using every conceivable drug and trying
to commit suicide in every conceivable way, yet never
able to succeed. His last recollection was that after
two years of literally bumming around, he was lying
on a dirt road at the edge of a forest, drunk and stoned
as he called it, trying desperately to be reunited with
his family. Not wanting to live, not even having the
energy to move out of the road when he saw a big truck
coming toward him and running over him.
was at this moment that he watched himself in the street,
critically injured, while he observed the whole scene
of the accident from a few feet above. It was at this
moment that his family appeared in front of him, in
a glow of light with an incredible sense of love. They
had happy smiles on their faces, and simply made him
aware of their presence, not communicating in any verbal
way but in the form of thought transference, sharing
with him the joy and happiness of their present existence.
This man was not able to tell
us how long this reunion lasted. He was so awed by his
family's health, their beauty, their radiance and their
total acceptance of this present situation, by their
unconditional love. He made a vow not to touch them,
not to join them, but to re-enter his physical body
so that he could share with the world what he had experienced.
It would be a form of redemption for his two years of
trying to throw his physical life away. It was after
this vow that he watched the truck driver carry his
totally injured body into the car. He saw an ambulance
speeding to the scene of the accident, he was taken
to the hospital's emergency room and he finally re-entered
his physical body, tore off the straps that were tied
around him and literally walked out of the emergency
room. He never had delirium tremens or any aftereffects
from the heavy abuse of drugs and alcohol. He felt healed
and whole, and made a commitment that he would not die
until he had the opportunity of sharing the existence
of life after death with as many people as would be
willing to listen. It was after reading a newspaper
article about my appearance in Santa Barbara that he
sent a message to the auditorium. By allowing him to
share with my audience he was able to keep the promise
he made at the time of his short, temporary, yet happy
reunion with his entire family.
do not know what happened to this man since then, but
I will never forget the glow in his eyes, the joy and
deep gratitude he experienced, that he was led to a
place where, without doubt and questioning, he was allowed
to stand up on the stage and share with a group of hundreds
of hospice workers the total knowledge and awareness
that our physical body is only the shell that encloses
our immortal self.
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Suicide Near-Death Experience
had a near-death experience several years ago. After
months of depression and physical pain from systemic
lupus, one day she took too many painkillers. Her twin
sister found her in the morning in a seizure, half-flopped
off of her bed. By the time she called 911, she had
fallen on the floor and was in a full convulsive state,
curling up my hands in a fetal position. Here is what
she experienced in her own words:
"There was no tunnel
or light. I awoke standing upright in the back
of what looked like a large auditorium-type
place, without the chairs. The wall were gold
and had jewels embedded in them. I was far in
the back at first and couldn't figure out where
I was. There were horns playing loud classical-type
music and it was a very formal-type ceremony.
There were dancers with beautifully colored
flags dancing in a supernatural sort of way.
I felt my presence coming in closer, but I didn't
feel legs moving underneath me.
"There was a long,
wide aisle with 10-15 men seated on each side
of the aisle. They were across the aisle from
each other, facing each other. They had on robes
and gold crowns, like they were kings or judges.
The seats were tall, gold chairs and at the
end of the aisle was an empty chair. My presence
came in very close and then to the left side
came a man in a long, white, toga-type robe.
He had short brown hair and on his head was
a wreath of holly leaves woven together with
baby's breath. He smiled and approached me with
his right hand extended.
took my hand gently and said, 'Hi, Lisa. I'm
Peter, welcome to the festival.'
"With that, he opened
a large door and I entered a large place that
was mostly white space. There were large white
cloth-covered tables with beautiful, succulent
fruit and a large fountain of red wine. There
were just a few people there, and they were
dressed in normal clothing of today.
"Just then I flashed
into a complete space of whiteness, but it was
not disconcerting like a haze of fog would be.
I was seated on the right leg of a very large,
strong presence with huge, loving arms around
low voice said in my right ear, 'Lisa, they're
working on your body, you have to hurry. Do
you want to go back? Your son needs you.'
feeling confused like I was not aware of what
I had left behind.
say anything and then the voice said louder,
directly in my ear, 'Lisa, you have to hurry,
they're working on your body. Do you want to
even louder he added, 'Ryan needs you.'
put great stress on my son's name. I immediately
realized I had left my 9-year-old son behind
and then I woke up in the ambulance.
"They later told me
that I said, 'I wanted to be in Paradise with
"That's my experience.
I'd love to hear your comments. I've not read
anything like this before. It was like a movie,
almost sounds cliché, I know."
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Suicide Near-Death Experience
I died I didn't see a tunnel or a white light or any
of that. I saw the Angel of Death sitting cross-legged
in front of me.
death was the result of a suicide attempt [and a damned
effective one at that], and this Angel was very angry
at me for trying to whack myself. We argued for about
8 hours [Earth time] before I grudgingly went back into
my body. During the out of body time it was made clear
to me that the Angel of Death was God's messenger, and
frequently confused with, or assumed to be, Lucifer
looked fierce, made out of black shadows, humanoid form,
angular face, glittering eyes, huge black wings pinioned
he looked it, he didn't seem frightening, for whatever
reason. The Lord [or Angel] of Death possesses a very
wonderful sense of humor which nobody ever seems to
comment on and he has a high level of compassion towards
the beings that he takes. He is very self-aware and
sees irony in his job.
"Kevin, your mentioning the
Lord of Death from the
Tibetan Book of the Dead
is, in my experience, a perfectly accurate description
of who he is and what function he performs - at least
in my experience."
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Cayce's Suicide Dream Interpretation
people came to
Edgar Cayce to have their
An example was the dream of a young man about his father-in-law,
who had recently taken his own life.
In the dream
a voice commented, "He is the most uncomfortable fellow
in the world," and then the dreamer was shown his own
baby crying for food.
The image was
to convey the dead man's hunger for guidance and spiritual
sustenance, said Cayce. The next night the dreamer heard
the man's own voice, together with "a wandering impression
The voice said,
"I seek rest. I want to leave and be with my family
said the dream contact had been authentic, showing the
dreamer how much his prayers were needed for the father-in-law,
who was still an earthbound discarnate. He added that
the reason the discarnate was turning towards people
in earthly life was that "the lessons are learned from
that realm, see?"
It was a point
Cayce often made, that souls who had once entered the
Earth had to learn their final lessons in the Earth,
where will is called into play in a fashion different
from existence on other realms.
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Anderson's Psychic Revelations About Suicide
Will a suicide progress?
"They can progress. This is why it's so important that
people, no matter what your religious belief or persuasion,
even if you're an atheist, remember to pray for those
who have passed on. Because that embraces them in love
and encourages them to progress. The problem that the
suicide faces in the next dimension is that, when you
arrive in the next level, it's not the pretty sight
that the average passing can be. Their problem is that
they cannot forgive themselves.
comes through in a reading and is starting to make me
feel as if they've taken their own life ...You feel
like you're in the presence of a ghost. There's a chilling
feeling. And it's very important that those coming through
acknowledge what they've done.
"It's like getting
up and saying, 'I'm an alcoholic.'
and saying, 'I have taken my own life.'
"A friend of mine who had
recently taken his life came through and did not know
how to go into the light I kept telling him to go forward
to the light, but he was afraid of judgment. He couldn't
forgive himself. Also, he was having a problem with
the fact that after he had taken his own life, his spirit
obviously lingered around the scene of the act. He could
not overcome the memory of his father's discovering
him, and that was haunting him emotionally to a tremendous
degree in the next dimension. What he and many of us
don't understand is that there is judgment there, but
it is not done by God on a throne. Judgment rests basically
with yourself. And we all know that the greatest enemy
we can face is ourselves.
can take eons of time as we understand it before they
go into the light. It depends on the person. You're
in control. You hold the reins. Those who've come through
those darker levels have said that they've had to face
themselves and realize that if they don't shape up,
in other words, learn more about themselves, they're
not getting anywhere."
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|7. Nora Spurgin's
Suicide Near-Death Research
What happens to one who commits suicide?
"The death of the physical body is determined by natural
law, which is governed by divine law. To take one's
physical life is to break that law, with the result
that there must be special care and arrangements made
in the spiritual world. In other words, breaking natural
law must be accounted for before one can go to higher
some sources, because the person's life was cut short
and her work on Earth incomplete, it will be necessary
to live out this uncompleted time in spirit aiding the
very ones on Earth who were most hurt by the suicide.
"Since the motivation
for suicide is usually to avoid unhappiness, we can
assume that the spirit takes such unhappiness into the
spiritual world. Any problems experienced on Earth are
always better worked out on Earth."
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Bethards' NDE Revelations on Suicide
"Catholics understand purgatory
as a place or level of consciousness one goes for further
understanding. It is an intermediary state that gives
one the opportunity to develop further clarity. At first
it is like being in fog, just as many people walk around
on the Earth realm in a fog. They don't have the clarity
to understand how they are setting their lives.
there has been much negativity during an incarnation,
or a suicide, one must spend some time contemplating
what has happened.
is a holding place where souls who are confused, who
do not want to let go of their earthly attachments,
or who choose not to grow will remain until such time
as they allow themselves to be released to flow once
more into the light.
is a place of your own making. We see souls who are
punishing themselves here on the Earth realm. This continues
after death just the same as it would if they were still
in the physical body. Many people must suffer in order
to feel worth. When they finally learn this is a negative
number they are running, they can move on."
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Browne's NDE Revelations on Suicide
to Sylvia Browne, upon death, most people go through
a heavenly process before entering into heaven. Evil
people, instead of experiencing the tunnel and bright
light upon death, are sent through what Sylvia calls
the "Left Door" and enter into an abyss of empty, joyless,
nothingness for a brief period of time.
After they have
reflected upon their actions, they are reincarnated
back to Earth.
People who commit
suicide for less than justifiable reasons are sent to
a place Sylvia calls the "Holding Place."
Here they must
make a choice to either proceed through the Left Door
or embrace God and move on to the light.
People in the
Holding Place shuffle slowly around in despair in a
gray fog with their heads down until they make their
decision. According to Sylvia this is purgatory.
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Tweddell's Psychic Revelations on Suicide
"Persons who commit suicide before the time they are
meant to die find themselves in a state of heavier vibration
and closer to the Earth than those of us who died natural
deaths. They remain in this state of density until the
time when they would have normally died. They then may
pass into the planes of finer vibration. People who
have experienced death through suicide are greatly helped
by the prayers and supportive thoughts from those still
on Earth. They are also aided by those from the higher
planes who are dedicated to help them grow spiritually
during the period of waiting."
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