Martin Goldberg

My name is Martin Goldberg and I live in South Africa. I am writing this letter after many years of having a NDE. It is something that feels will never leave my side. I have mixed feelings about it and am extremely frightened on a daily basis.

All I remember was the feeling of my eyes falling back into my head and the nurses battling to administer a drip to me. With me bouncing and jumping around, this was a difficult thing to do.

I remember my wife shouting at me, "Martin, please don't leave us. I need you."

I was in another world and have been there ever since.

I remember being elevated above myself in a bright sheath of shining white light looking down on my wife. It was the most amazing experience I have ever known. I also remember myself making the choice of crossing that line or coming back. It was a vivid sense of not being here and a feeling of extreme warmth which was very pleasant at the time.

I recall feeling like a type of an angel. I recall the feeling of being down a tube and feeling very at peace with all around me.

I saw everyone running around me in a frantic state, but I was calm.

I chose to come back, but the experience has left me scared to the effect that it is with me in every second and breathing moment of my life. I cannot leave it alone nor does it go away. I have an array of feelings. I feel strangely different and I cannot pinpoint it. I feel that nobody will even begin to understand me and will think I have lost my mind. I feel very lonely and I was never like this. I am a very out-going person and talk a lot, but this has left a silence inside of me that I live with every second.

My wife also had her trauma in this whole experience and she says she understands, but I know she does not. Our relationship went through major turmoil and ended up with us going to couple therapy. We spend about two years there and this was the focal point of our issues. We are fine together now, but on a very different level. I have compromised my experience to satisfy our relationship and my family.

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