Caroline Sharp

In 1969, I had to have a termination of a 22 week pregnancy owing to fetal death. Not long after surgery, I suddenly felt very ill and realized I was going to faint. I just had time to press the emergency bell before losing consciousness. The next feeling I had was I was floating about 5 feet above the bed, looking down at a backward angle at my inert body on the bed.

It is now almost 34 years ago, but with amazing clarity, I can remember the emotions I went through as I hovered above my body. It was a total euphoric happiness. Feeling totally unconcerned and faintly amused, I watched the two nurses and doctor working to resuscitate my lifeless body. I could relate with extreme clarity the actions they took in this procedure. Then I began to float upwards and I realized I was having to make a decision. It was almost a physical two-way pull. There seemed to be no ceiling above me, just a black hole into which I was being compelled by a very strong force. It seemed as if I was to make a decision as to which way I would choose to go - up into the tunnel or back into my body. I remember thinking of my husband and very young children and deciding with great reluctance, I must forgo the great happiness I was experiencing and return to my body. There was a sudden silent thud and a brief unawareness and I was back in my body on the bed. My immediate thought and emotion was that I had not only experienced something joyful but had only deferred it. I would not describe myself of having much Christian faith but this experience has remained with me, with its proof there must be a wonderful experience in death.