two months ago, I had what I can now categorically state
was an NDE.
I had done two pills. I do hallucinate on ecstasy. To give
you a background, I had never hallucinated on it until I
did more than one pill in a night about six months ago.
Since then, I've done two 3.5 pills in the space of four
to six hours on around five separate occasions. This produces
a good level of hallucination which I love. Typically, it's
the "mood" of the vista you have that seems to take on a
whole new dimension with the purple / blue / yellow lights
of a club transforming into a kind of mellow "haunted house"
kind of vista, typically with leaves covering walls - walls
which sometimes appear from nowhere. Sometimes people walking
around without heads on. "Peoples' faces melting and
general "magic eye" type dual or triple interpretations
of individual objects or entire scenes. But I would never
do acid as I'm aware of the danger in my enjoyment of hallucination
and therefore elect not to dabble in a stronger hallucinogen
for fear of liking it too much.
about 5 a.m. I have done two, or two and a half pills. I
often get tired around that time and was sitting on the
podium. I leaned forward with my hands dangling by my calves
and my head slumped down by my waist. I close my eyes for
about four minutes.
out of nowhere, I see a tiny pin prick of very bright white
light in the middle of my field of (closed) vision. Slowly,
over five seconds, the light gets bigger in its circular,
tunnel like nature. It is tremendously pleasant and literally
"attractive" - even SEDUCTIVE.
So I am going down the tunnel
and the light is now huge after about five seconds. Then,
just about a second before it would have encompassed my
whole field of vision, there is a bright flash and two things
I physically felt that my cornea has been stimulated in
the same way as if someone shone a very bright light suddenly
into my eyes following a period of darkness.
and most impressively, an electric-like force (That is the
only way I can describe it), seemed to instantaneously "possess"
my entire body. I felt my shoulders hunch inwards involuntarily
and my mind completely and instantaneously was "clicked"
into a hypnotic-like (I have never been hypnotized, but
this is how I would imagine it to feel) state of complete
tranquility and peace - like your mind has had all of the
gunk extracted from it. Like the cornea sensation, the mind
(and of course the body), physically felt influenced by
the disappointment. That's all that happened I'm afraid.
very difficult for me to be certain about the length of
time I was in that state. If I were to guess, I would say
thirty seconds max.
I came out of the state gradually
and fully consciously before the "electricity" seemed to
slowly ooze back out of my body. I opened my eyes back to
the reality of a dance floor, in a slight haze.
I think about it though, I wonder if actually I did see
"the realm" I have since read about on the web. But whether
the memory has been (potentially - deliberately) erased
from my human life memory, I also believe there's a strong
likelihood that there was some kind of knowledge gift to
me during the end of tunnel flash.
I'm an inventor. In the weeks
following my experience, I came up with phenomenal numbers
of what I believe to be very valuable ideas. I also experienced
two separate million-to-one synchronicities, a phenomena
I have since learned about. In addition to the synchronicity
that in the WEEK following my experience, I was reading
a book I did not know at point of purchase to contain information
on NDEs, which over ten pages convinced me I had experienced
one by its description.
had passed only several weeks before. I wondered whether
the NDE was some kind of gift she was permitted to offer
to alert me - a spiritual non-believer if ever there was
one - to the afterlife realm.
In a word,
I would say I instantly perceived the experience as the
most important of my lifetime. I instantly knew I had witnessed
some kind of spiritual phenomenon. I just knew. I now do
not only NOT fear death, but I even believe if I ever have
knowledge that I am about to die, I will be at peace in
my own mind with no fear - well, LESS fear! There are bound
to be overwhelmingly sentimental emotions at that time.
was on drugs. But last week I submitted the story to the
NDERF website. They haven't posted the story. In my writing
to them, I included similar arguments to the ones you present
in "How to have an NDE."
I have knowledge of brain chemistry.
I base this on the fact that I, remote of any stimuli about
other peoples experiences by the tunnel of light interpretation,
experienced what many other NDErs have experienced.
thing here that is a personal belief is that I personally
do not believe there is any such thing as synthetic. The
word is purely a human abstraction. I don't believe you
can divide nature in any way. People will refer to spider
webs as nature, but then describe a human home made of bricks
as outside of nature. I believe this is incorrect. The nuclear
bomb is nature too because it happens to be a by-product
of nature-occurring human potential for abstract thought.
You can't factor out "synthetic" creations in the criteria
of the assessment of validity of "reality" of a drug-induced
experience for example. For the human mind is obviously
nature and the human mind's creations are therefore surely
also nature. The spider's web is the same as the human's
home. So we should not see one as "nature" and one as not.
Sophistication of concept is inversely
related to materiality as well. Therefore, when looking
at the universe as a whole, we should forget the separation
of abstract thoughts from physical creations and instead
put them all in the same bucket. The relevance being that
if for a moment we do this, we see information - piece one
in the bucket with information - piece two and NOT information
- piece one, a physical entity - and information piece two,
an abstract entity. So if we were observing the world from
a distance with no capacity to understand the difference
between an abstract and a physical property, and no capacity
to see the difference between a synthetic and "naturally
occurring" phenomenon, and we had only the capacity
to view each piece of information unprejudiced about its
superficial origin, then we would not make the comment that
drug use creates "false" NDEs.
think accessing the realm is all about reaching a deep state
of subconsciousness which happens to be easier,
on drugs, or (b)
most commonly when dying!!!
you the stuff about how I'm trying to access the realm in
a few days. I also have one question. I wonder if you know
the answer to why is it that ecstasy enables me to very
lucidly see images for several seconds with my eyes closed.
I scan the image by moving my eyes physically as well. I
have reached epic proportions with this to the extent that
I can now READ DOCUMENTS with my eyes closed - documents
I have never seen before. Usually they appear ancient.
believe that I am seeing images in real time sometimes,
though admittedly this is only a hunch, but a strong one.
is that as you try to relax your mind and close everything
off, the images appear, it seems, almost when you are not
trying to make them appear. Typically what happens is as
the image for one half to four seconds and it is ALWAYS
unrelated to any conscious thoughts you have (i.e., totally
Frequently, the image metamorphisizes
into a chain of images - a tiger turns into a country landscape
which turns into a cloud which turns into a garden etc.
The main PROBLEM is that typically
the image spontaneously appears while your eyes are closed.
It is so beautifully lucid that you get excited. While excited,
you consciously are telling yourself to try to remember
what you are seeing. This suggestion to yourself typically
interferes with prolonging the image(s). The second problem
is that as the image appears, typically your eye tries to
focus on one part of the image which is almost impossible
to suppress that tendency. Again, this is conducive to difficulty
in prolonging the experience, especially if I can see text
is present in the image. I will try to read it as this is
potential proof of telepathy. I have managed to read words
that appear, but usually no more than one sentence before
the image disappears.
Can you explain this? Presumably
all that is happening is that you are effectively caught
in the unusual territory as seeing as lucidly (or more so)
as in a dream while retaining normal consciousness and thus
having capacity to remember. It is brilliant though. I am
70% sure there is some kind of telepathy going on as names
have appeared to me. I have the feeling these are potential
murder victims. I know that's bizarre and quite probably
you find this interesting email. I know it's not a very
big NDE experience but definitely was one. I thought you
might like to know ecstasy produced this for me. I came
across your page by typing into a search engine "near-death
experience drugs" and your page was the first to answer
this question. I was pleased that after reading it, it seems
to lend extra-legitimacy to my certainty that I saw the
beginning of the realm.
Webmaster Kevin Williams'
l have never done ecstasy, but I know it can create out-of-body
experiences and even near-death experiences just as acid
can. Your description of seeing an image out of the corner
of your eye and it changes when look at it sounds like a
principle I learned about quantum physics.
A photon of light is both a
particle AND a wave. Before you look at it, it is a
wave. But the moment you look at it, the collapses into
a particle. This means that you can measure the velocity
of a particle, but at the same time, it is impossible
for you to know what its position is. When you measure
the position of the particle, it is impossible to know
what its velocity is.
It is as Neils Bohr once stated in
reply to Einstein's statement that God doesn't play dice, "Not
only does God play dice, He hides them from you when He
Quantum theory suggests that things
do not exist as you know them until it they are observed
and that reality is really in the eye of the beholder.
Principles such as this are a part
of the magical universe that is quantum reality. It suggests
that the laws of the universe are really the laws of our
Ecstasy, as well as acid and ketamine,
probably opens triggers your mind to expand into this quantum
reality. I don't know for sure, but I suspect this is the
case. Certainly, your description of looking at images and
they change when you do, sounds like principles of quantum
the only answer I can think of. If you want to understand
a simple, "Complete Idiots Guide to Quantum Mechanics,"
I suggest you read a certain book by
forget the title of it, but you can do a search for it at
This is the best way to understand
quantum mechanics without having to understand the extremely
complicated mathematics involved with it. Understanding
quantum theory may give you more insight into your ecstasy
experience. Even if it doesn't, this kind of physics is
close to understanding all the dimensions of reality, which
so far, ten dimensions of quantum reality are known. Personally,
I believe these dimensions are the various realms that make
up the afterlife. The Gnostics experienced near-death experiences
that involved ten heavenly realms. When you take psychedelic
drugs, perhaps you are influenced by these dimensions in
ways that not taking them can.
Hope this helps.