name is MaryJane Escobar. I had an NDE when
I was 20 years old on my birthday.
I was a troubled youth.
I had my first child at 14. I was abandoned
by my family to make my way on my own. When
I was 18 years old, I gave my son to his father
due to homelessness. I could not get over the
separation from my child. It was the first experience
that I had with unconditional love.
I fell into a relationship
that was terribly destructive for me. I started
using drugs heavily. I had no will to live and
wanted to go and leave this life of hell forever.
I got my wish.
I was up all night
using drugs. I overdosed and went into convulsions.
Just before it hit me, I shot out of the top
of my head and lingered only moments while everyone
freaked out. Then I was in a dark cobblestone
tunnel that seemed wet. I was a sphere illuminating
everything around me .
It felt to me like
a completely natural state. I was flying so
fast through the tunnel excited to reach the
end. As I came closer to a bright light I noticed
that the tunnel veered to my left. I was close
and could now sense some kind of magnetic force
pulling me into the light. It was incredible
and overflowing with unconditional love, forgiveness,
and empathy. I was completely surrounded by
many spheres like myself. All of us were attracted
to this huge sphere where all of the wonderful
feelings were emanating from.
But just as quickly
as I had got there I was sent shooting back
into my body. There was a young paramedic holding
me and calling my name and telling me to breathe.
I was so angry! I had been robbed of peace,
love, forgiveness, empathy, and deep understanding.
I did not want to breathe. I kept resisting
the paramedic and he just became more and more
determined to keep me breathing and alive .
On my way to the hospital,
he told me I had been dead. My heart had stopped
just seconds under 5 minutes. He did not think
he was going to be able to revive me. He was
so proud and happy because he had saved my life.
I was full of rage because I felt robbed of
the one thing I had been seeking my entire life
- love, understanding, and acceptance .
After that experience
a chain of motion was inflected in my life.
I became drug free. I married and had two more
children and was reunited with my first child.
I have been married to the love of my life for
nearly 18 years.
Three years ago I
began having dreams of being in a very bad head-on
collision. I was so certain that I would die
in my 89 Toyota Corolla. I could see my head
hitting the windshield and the engine ending
up on my legs. Extremely vivid and for 4 months.
My husband became so concerned that he bought
me a '97 Mazda 626. He brought it to my work
and I got in and drove it. I sensed that this
was a safety option and that I was being given
a choice. Die in the Corolla or be injured and
live with the Mazda.
I had it two weeks
and I never made a payment when the car accident
happened. I was hit on my head and my face was
destroyed. My back and neck were disabled. I
required four reconstructive bone grafting surgeries
on my cheek bone, bones around the sinuses,
and all the bone and root structure above where
I once had teeth. I ended up losing thirteen
teeth total. My thought just before we collided
was that I will live through this. And I did.
But I lost my identity. I lost my way of coping
with stress by exercise and my career as Personal
Trainer, Aerobics instructor, and Choreographer
to fitness competitors .
I hid for an entire
year while they worked on my face. But something
very wonderful came out of all this pain and
suffering. I developed a deep well of compassion
for people, and then became extremely intuitive
to the point where it sometimes scares me. Even
though my life has changed so much from this
collision, I have been able to open my own outcall
training business and work with people who just
won't step foot in a gym because of self-consciousness,
work hours, or do not have the time to fit in
for a gym.
It was a long road
back for me. But I made it and developed quite
an education in humility, forgiveness, sincerity
and understanding. Also, because I lived through
it, I learned so much more about the human body
and dental care. Medical terminology has become
so easy for me to understand.
I don't know if the
head-on collision had anything to do with the
NDE fourteen years prior, but I definitely feel
that I was given a clear choice: leave this
life and my beautiful children, grandchildren,
and wonderful husband or stay behind but be
forced into growth. I chose life. I chose to
grow no matter how painful the growing pains
were and sometimes still are.
Thank you for your
time and allowing me to share.