name is Martin Goldberg and I live in South Africa. I am
writing this letter after many years of having an NDE. It
is something that feels will never leave my side. I have
mixed feelings about it and am extremely frightened on a
All I remember was
the feeling of my eyes falling back into my head and the
nurses battling to administer a drip to me. With me bouncing
and jumping around, this was a difficult thing to do.
I remember my wife
shouting at me, "Martin, please don't leave us. I need
I was in another
world and have been there ever since.
I remember being
elevated above myself in a bright sheath of shining white
light looking down on my wife. It was the most amazing experience
I have ever known. I also remember myself making the choice
of crossing that line or coming back. It was a vivid sense
of not being here and a feeling of extreme warmth which
was very pleasant at the time.
I recall feeling
like a type of an angel. I recall the feeling of being down
a tube and feeling very at peace with all around me.
I saw everyone running
around me in a frantic state, but I was calm.
I chose to come
back, but the experience has left me scared to the effect
that it is with me in every second and breathing moment
of my life. I cannot leave it alone nor does it go away.
I have an array of feelings. I feel strangely different
and I cannot pinpoint it. I feel that nobody will even begin
to understand me and will think I have lost my mind. I feel
very lonely and I was never like this. I am a very out-going
person and talk a lot, but this has left a silence inside
of me that I live with every second.
My wife also had
her trauma in this whole experience and she says she understands,
but I know she does not. Our relationship went through major
turmoil and ended up with us going to couple therapy. We
spend about two years there and this was the focal point
of our issues. We are fine together now, but on a very different
level. I have compromised my experience to satisfy our relationship
and my family.