My Black Light Experience
I have been in a car accident and had (I think) an NDE. This is something that is not even mortal.
Well, two days after the car accident I was still in PICU (Pediatric). My Mother told me that my twin was dead, and I...can't explain the pain and the confusion. I believe that having
grief can alter the aftereffects of the NDE.
People on this NDE page tell me that yes, I have had an NDE. But the thing is...how can it happen this way? There was blackness and an echo, I forgot my body was there and I was heavy and light, and floating all at the same time. It was like ten minutes, but I was only knocked out for about one or two.
Ever since then I wanted to know everything, I wanted to know "why", and what is All That Is. I feel so changed now that the person before the car accident known as me somehow died with my twin, and my twin (it seems) died and came into a new life, a life that is shared with mine, in one body, in our body. Is this the
grief in me, or the NDE? I think it's both...
I suddenly got interested in philosophy and psychology, and even neuroscience because of the way my twin died. I want to do everything. I want to change the world and make it a better place. I feel that I may be sad and weak now because of the loss that I have suffered, but when I grow up I will be something so big and so grand that I will be able to change the world and how it works.
I suddenly started to think deeply and to truly reason and sort things out. I have new ideas and new ways of thinking, ways that I never could even come close to before the accident. I want to change so badly, but I don't know how.
I want to become everything that I can be, everything that she could not be. Every time I look into her picture, I feel her thinking to me, and she says, "Life is what you want it to be. It's what you make of it."
I wanted to ask you if this was her communicating to me, or if I'm going insane, or if it is the NDE. For the past two years since the accident I've asked myself this more than a zillion times.
Yes, you had an NDE and are experiencing the after-effects. The thoughts of being crazy is a very common and can be a very frightening after-effect for many NDErs. I am a twin myself and I have always had a special connection with him. I saw a television program about twins and learned about the psychic connection that can exist. On one particular NDE documentary I saw, a twin was working as a telephone line repair man and was fixing a line high up on a telephone pole. Suddenly, he saw his twin brother appear before to tell him goodbye. Then he disappeared. The telephone repair twin immediately knew that his twin had died. And sure enough, he later learned that his twin had died. And it was exactly at the same time that he saw the spirit of his twin.
This kind of thing happens to relatives and friends who are not twins, but I don't believe they are very common. These kind of experiences are called "after-death visitations" and are almost a "shared NDE" because a living person shares a part of another's death experience.
Anyway, your experience is more unique. I am convinced that my twin and I are soul mates, that we have had a special connection over many many lifetimes. We are like halves of the same whole. He is still living and he appears almost always in my dreams where we sometimes have strange adventures. Nobody else at all appears in my dreams more than my twin. I have been living thousands of miles away from him and only get to see him maybe once a year if I am lucky. We don't talk on the phone much on the phone for various reasons, mostly because he doesn't like to talk on the phone much. He has his own big family, job, house and concerns. Despite all this, I am always close to him. We are not identical twins but when we were growing up, I often knew what he was thinking and feeling. We didn't need to talk at all and we could sit and watch tv without talking at all. Things like that.
What you experienced during your NDE is commonly called "the void". It is a very interesting and heavenly place for some people and for others it can be frightening for various reasons. In the void, you can obtain all knowledge because in the void you are pure mind. A large percentage of NDErs begin their experience in the void. You can read more about it here:
People often come back from an NDE feeling like a totally different person. It is even not uncommon for family and friends to say something like, "When you died, you must have died because I don't know who you are." Some form of this. This is why there is such a high divorce rate among NDErs.
I have my own opinion on this and you can take it or leave it. I do know that while we are alive in this world, we are only a fraction of our whole personality. The best way I heard someone explain this is that our spirit has many facets to it and when we enter this world as a soul, it is only one aspect of our "higher personality". During an NDE, people become exposed to other facets of their personality. Perhaps our loved ones on the other side are these facets, I don't know. Anyway, my guess is that when you and your twin died, your oneness with your twin became more stronger or more realistic or more emotional or more closer, I don't know. Anyway, when you returned, you retained this connection with your twin and now you feel different.
The important thing is that if this becomes a problem for you, people who know more about this at IANDS suggest talking to your doctor. Visit
IANDS website. They have a section for people who just had an NDE, a frightening NDE, or just need some help. Many people have problems after having an NDE because it can be much more than a life-changing event. It can feel like a completely different life. Anyway, I hope this helps.