My first experience began when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I was attending a Catholic Church (St James) in Madison,
WI. After the service I remember going up to light a candle for the Virgin Mary. After I
lit the candle, I was praying and that was when I heard her talking to me. I heard a very soft beautiful voice in my head and I remember being memorized by it. It was telling me that I was going to be called upon and that I needed to be patient. I wish I could remember more but I can't.
I remember when she was talking to me it felt like time had stopped and that it was just her and me in the church. I even saw her statue wink at
me. Needless to say, even for an 6 year old, I did not tell anyone because I knew that statues are not suppose to talk to you let alone wink at you. I had repressed this memory until my next experience.
When I was 27 years old, I had another experience.
I had just had my second child and I
remembered sitting in my rocking chair watching Ronald Reagan's selection for the first teacher in space. When Christa
McCullough name was called to accept the position, I felt a feeling of pure doom spread from my head into every cell of my body. It felt like someone had placed their hand on my head and let this ooze of doom invade my body. I could not
move. I was frozen as this feeling went through me. I couldn't believe
this. I knew that if she got on the space shuttle she was going to die.
I remember I kept saying, "This can't be happening," over and over
When I was released, I didn't know what to do.
"Should I call NASA and tell them?"
"If I did, would they even believe me? Who am I but a simple housewife with two small children? "
I was so afraid that if I called NASA, they would send the police out and I would be in trouble.
So I didn't tell anyone. Little did I know that others were also receiving these kinds of feelings and calling NASA.
On the morning of the lift off, I did not catch the initial showing of the shuttle blasting off. When I did find out what happened, I remember sinking to the floor.
I made a promise to GOD that the next time he made contact with me, I would listen.
It was at this point that I realized
we are not alone, that there is something else going on but I just did not understand. It was then that I remembered about the conversation with the Virgin Mary. I believe this experience was my awakening.
When I was 33 years old I had another experience that was even more dramatic.
I remember waking up one morning and, as I started to get out of bed, I saw a brilliant white light in the corner of my room. At first I thought that this was just sunshine, although I remember thinking that I never saw sunlight like that before.
So I glanced at my door and saw that it was almost shut.
"How could all that light get in my room?"
Then I thought that this light must be the ghost of a girlfriend of mine
who had past away when she was nineteen.
As I looked at the light, I remembered how utterly beautiful it was. This light was really bright but it did not hurt my eyes to look at. I was memorized by it. When I closed my eyes I could still see it.
It was then that I fell back on the bed and realized that I could not move. It was like I was being held down.
Then I saw images of a man and I heard a voice again talking to me in my head. This voice was talking about this man and who he was and that we were going to met. This voice told me about his temperament, what he looked like, his heritage, and what he would say to me when we meet. This voice said that this man needed to be shown the right path in life and he would give me the passion that I needed in my life. I remember tossing my head from side to side, "NO, I would never have anything to do with someone like this NO WAY!" .
When I was released, I thought, "Is this really happening? Things like this don't happen."
I was too afraid to tell anyone because I was afraid they would think I was crazy. I pushed this event back and did not think about it until
six months later. Then I met this man.
He was exactly like I saw him and he even said what the voice told me he would say to me, word for word.
I was in complete amazement. I remember making the promise to GOD to follow through and I did so.
I tried very hard over the course of six years to help this man. He had a lot of problems and we were in out of a relationship.
The last time we got together was when I had the NDE-like experience.
My NDE-like experience happened when I was forty years old. I was back together with this man (Phillip). I remember that I was at a low point because no matter what I did Phillip kept going back to his old ways, even though he told me that he had found GOD.
Things kept happening to him which I am sure GOD created to show him that he needs to spend time with me.
But instead, Phillip kept hanging out with his friends.
I remember nights just crying myself to sleep, asking GOD to please take me home because I could no longer take this anymore.
One night when I was at my deepest despair, as I prayed to GOD to take me home, I suddenly fell asleep.
The next thing I knew, I am in a place surrounded in white light. I looked around and realized that this light was like the light in my bedroom years ago. It was at this point I realized that I knew this place. I was HOME. I also realized that I no longer had a body
and the feeling of pure JOY was so wonderful because I was able to feel joy without being bound in a body. I can't explain it in words how this feeling felt. When you are free of the body, feelings are felt in the fullest.
It was at this point I realized that this place was THE REALITY. I kept saying to myself, "They must
be showing me this because I am going to die and they did not want me to be afraid. Well, I am still here so I know that wasn't it."
I started to look around and saw beings of different colors huddled in a group talking amongst themselves. They were neither male or female. One of them, I remember, was a soft olive green color and this being was holding a staff. I thought to myself that these beings don't have eyes, ears, mouths or hands and they are conversing.
"How can this be?"
I decided to see what color I was so I stretched a part of me out and saw that I was a very vibrant plasmic hot pink. I remember laughing because this was a color I would not be comfortable wearing here on
The next thing I knew I was being pulled into the light and gosh, what an utterly wonderful experience. This light went into me and bathed me in PURE PURE PURE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I became part of it.
It showed me that we need to look, not with our eyes, but with our hearts. We need to love selflessly and to do it often. To be compassionate and understanding and to look beyond what we see, to see with our hearts. We are all
connected. We know each other. We (all things) are all of this LOVING light. It was too beautiful and wonderful. I did not want to leave.
I felt myself being pulled toward the group of beings that I saw earlier. I was being pulled into an area that was like an opening of some kind. When I was above the opening, I was scared that I was going to fall down through it. I just floating there when I saw another being rushing up toward me. I was being pulled toward this being that was the color of royal purple. I heard a name
from this being - "Kevin" - and I heard the olive green being say to me telepathically, "This is the one you will be with next."
I thought to myself, "You want me to be with my ex-brother-in-law?" That was the only "Kevin" that I knew at that time.
As this being drew closer, I realized that this was a different person. When we embraced it was so wonderful. It felt like
ten billion fireworks of love energy exploding all around and in me. Pure ecstasy. It was
love unbounded. That is the best way that I can describe it. Nothing that we can experience on
Earth even comes close to this feeling. I did not want to let go of this being.
When I got back home, I
couldn't wait to embrace everyone.
The next thing I knew, I was in long hall where one end went on forever. I saw a throne and a being sitting on it. I could not look up to see it's face because I knew not to. I was bouncing all over the place because I knew that I was in the presence of GOD. I kept saying to myself, "OH MY GOD! ITS GOD!" over and over again.
As I started to calm down, I heard the voice of GOD. I can't describe it other than that it was alive. I knew that God could end everything on
Earth with just one word.
It felt that powerful. This voice was powerful and you knew it. I was so humbled. I felt so small,
so insignificant, yet so loved.
This voice came from up above me. It was like God showing me a body on a throne so that I would have something to grasp as all this was happening.
He asked me how I thought things were going with Phillip and I said he was doing good.
(Yeah right) .
God then said, "Tell me, how he is really doing?" like I could fool God.
I told him that things were not good at all.
God then asked me what I would think would happen if he took me away from him.
At this point I am thinking that God intends to have me come
"home." I said that if I was to die, Phillip would lose it completely.
God then said, "Well I think I know my son better than that."
He went on to say that what was important was that Phillip needed to have him in
his heart 100 percent and that he will have to take things over.
He asked me if that would be OK. I
God then asked me, "What do you want?"
couldn't believe it! Here I have been given the greatest gift of all, to know of heaven and to understand that we don't die and
God wants to know what I want. All I could think of was that I wanted to have my kids here also.
Once I told him this, the next thing I knew, I awoke with a sudden start in bed. I wanted to run and yell to everyone that I had gone to heaven and WE DON'T DIE.
Reality sunk in that if I did this, everyone would think I was crazy.
I have to tell you that I was on cloud nine for months and I had the biggest smile on my face. I knew. I eventually told my
three kids. I have told parts of my story to a few people but never the whole story for fear that others would think that I was crazy.
Being in the light has changed me in that I have become even more compassionate, understanding and loving then I was before this happened. I have not become a religious person but I have become very spiritual. I have begun discovering the Buddhist philosophy. I think Buddha had
an NDE-like experience as well.
The relationship with Phillip and I ended and I saw events enfold that showed me where I needed to be next.
I got laid off and I got an job opportunity to work in Louisville KY. I knew that I had to come here. What I didn't know was that I had a cousin
I saw how God had arranged me to move down there and he made sure that I had a relative
there to help me. I told my cousin when I got down there that I knew that I was going to meet someone here and that someone was Kevin.
I had another NDE-like experience two or three weeks before I meet Kevin. I knew I was back in heaven but in a place surrounded in snowcapped mountains like in Switzerland. I remember playing in the snow with a man in his mid to late twenties. I was not able to see what he looked like but I knew his age range and that he loved Switzerland.
When I awoke I was again on cloud nine.
A few weeks later, I then received an email from a man named Kevin and he told me his age
was 28. As we conversed, I learned that he loved Switzerland.
Anyway, as our friendship developed, I asked him this question, "If our souls were different colors what color would mine be?"
He answered, "That's easy - hot pink."
I have not shared these experiences with him so he didn't have a clue.
Yet he knew. How amazing how this whole thing works.
Kevin and I will always be friends.
I kept seeing a word in my head - "Maytra". When I asked him what this word meant, he said that it was Sanskrit and that it meant "Male Friend."
COOL. I am assuming that God wants me to be his friend.
I will surely be this for him as long as he needs me and that he does know.
Well that's all.
Oh yeah, since I saw the light of GOD in my bedroom I haven't aged like most people. I age more slowly, more gracefully.
It is soooo cool to look at people and know that we are so much more than
the sum of our parts. We know each other and we are here to love one
another on our human journey.
Living in Gods Grace,
die, you wear what you are." - St. Teresa of Avila