experience was classified by two experts in two different ways:
(1) An ASEPS collaborator used the term "Spiritual Emergency"
which referred to the book with the same title written by Dr.
(2) Dr. Jan Holden, a
counseling lecturer and member of IANDS who had among other things a light experience similar to
mine, defined it
using the words "transpersonal experience - mystical type".
I really don't like classifications, as
every light experience is unique, but we can realize by the terms above that my experience wasn't a near-death experience exactly. When I lived it, I wasn't in coma. Actually not all light experiences happen during a physical danger (accidents, serious diseases,
etc..) sometimes they can happen during a very spiritual moment.
It is impossible to describe completely my experience (as light is superior to everything and everyone, superior to every religion) and I am still metabolizing it. It was strong and complex.
I had the experience some months after my mother's death, in 1994.
Ever since I was a child, I was a bit mystic. But after I kissed my mother's dead body, I began a inner travel to understand if there was
something beyond. After that loss I felt lonely and fragile at first; but little by little I began to feel an energy - a strength - someone calling me.
When I was 20 years old, I didn't have a simple life (which I don't believe to be the only one). I didn't have a good relationship with my father and my
sister. There was also the mourning, that cold tomb.
One evening, I felt really tormented and I went to bed. I didn't want to
sleep. I just wanted to be quiet. I realized completely my unhappiness and I asked God to help
me. I even began to doubt of his existence.
Suddenly, with my eyes completely open,
I shuddered. Then came a light. I have never had visions or daydreams before. I
was frightened of that light at first (our eyes get used to see other things),
but she calmed me immediately. I understood that I was seeing the being nearest
to me, the being who could understand me better than anyone.
The light began to communicate to me. Words were not necessary. It was a simultaneous transmission of thoughts and images. I cannot explain all I learned, but I want to affirm that God is one and it is the light who sees people having an NDE or a "spiritual emergency." There is nothing stronger, more beautiful and fairer, than the light. Every religion tries to describe God and reality in a particular way, but there is only one truth.
My meeting lasted a few minutes, but I learned so much that maybe I couldn't explain the same concepts in some weeks
here. In fact, it seemed that the time was stopped during that moment.
I strongly wanted to go "there", to go beyond, but the light told me that I had to return to this world to have
Then the light went away, but in spite of the assurances, the separation from the light was more painful than every mourning.
I think about that experience everyday and I still communicate with light using a different channel.
Now my life is better. In my material life, I am not a student anymore. I work and satisfy more of my interests and ambitions. Regarding my spirituality, I am now a cut above.
Anyway, sometimes I feel bad because I know I would be better there.
"And when the
Earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance." - Kahlil