the fear of impact (getting hit), however, I have no recollection
of the impact or having my body become totally integrated
with the bicycle, nor hurtling over sixty feet through the
air and landing in the canal. My next memory was quite a
scene in the hospital emergency room. It was the most unique
experience of my earthly life. Unique, because I was observing
my own body in the emergency room and all the activity going
on, except that I was not in my body. I was above it all
- looking down. I was feeling no pain.
Everyone was very busy. I knew
by their activity that I was in serious trouble. There was
much discussion about how to extract me from the tangled
wreckage of my bike and/or whether they would need to leave
me in it until I was stabilized enough to try. I could see
and hear everything. It was gruesome. It was frightening.
They finally decided they had me stable enough to get rid
of the bike and they called for a welding specialist to
bring a torch to help cut me out of the bike. Thank God
my body seemed to be unconscious. All of this would have
been quite enough for my young mind to endure - until one
nurse, whom I knew, said to another, "Well - it certainly
makes you wonder if it is worth saving this mess."
She nearly scared me to death!
At that moment, it was more than I could stand above and
watch. I wanted to run away from this scene. I needed to
escape. Quickly, I turned, took one step through the wall
so to speak and found myself in total darkness. I looked
back - nothing but darkness! Before I could barely think,
"Now I've done it!" I apparently took another step; and
I was instantly in the most beautiful garden I have ever
seen. This garden was like a formal terrace which had been
carved out of a rough mountain, just a few feet below the
peak. Everything was white marble and evergreen. The air
was so incredibly light and clear and fresh and cool. It
seemed like I was breathing pure chilled oxygen. The garden
was trimmed in evergreen shrubs, each a perfect specimen;
and the fragrance of evergreen lightly scented the air.
This place seemed so perfect in every detail. Directly in
front of me, just a few steps away, was a marble bench which
seemed to invite me to come, sit, and rest.
As I sat down and breathed in
the fresh wonderful air, I looked around. What a wonderful
place to rest. The floor was flat and smooth, polished to
perfection such that it looked seamless. This garden terrace
was surrounded by low marble pillars and a marble railing
and looked like it had been formed right out of the side
of the mountain in one seamless effort. I noticed the stark
contrast between the formal perfection of white marble and
the surrounding mountain that was rough and ragged by comparison.
It seemed like only moments while
I looked around this beautiful setting, when I noticed a
very warm, kindly, old gentleman sitting beside me on the
bench. I had not seen or heard him come - he was just there.
A light smile crossed his face, and I knew he was a friend.
His face was warmly wrinkled, but soft. His eyes were a
soft blue and yet with a depth and sparkle of wisdom. I
looked away so as not to fall into his eyes; and as I did,
he spoke to me. His voice was firm, but soft and loving.
He said, "Well, you've had a
rough day," as if he knew all about it.
With a tired sigh I said, "I
No further explanation seemed
necessary as we both sat there. Then, I remembered just
how much trouble I really was in; and I looked back at him
hoping he would have an answer I could stand to hear.
I asked "Am I dead?"
He smiled to assure me and said,
"No, you are not dead. Your body is in a lot of trouble,
but it is being well taken care of and you do not need to
I remember I felt so relieved
to be told that I was not dead. Life was not over. This
was not the end. All these things ran through my mind like
a whirlwind that stopped abruptly, and I was filled with
a million questions as to explain my current condition.
I could not explain why I felt like I was sitting here in
this place feeling very much like I had a body and yet knowing
very much that I had left it behind.
Again I looked at him, and his
face looked so understanding I knew he had the answers even
before I asked the question. It was like we could read each
others thoughts - even before words were spoken - and I'm
not sure but what a lot of our communication did take place
this way, mind to mind. Then a kind of panic set in.
I demanded of him: "How am I
here, in this place, when I know that my body is back there
in the hospital?" And "Where is this place? How do I see
this place and you, if I'm not with my body? How can I be
two places at once?" I began to feel very upset. "What are
you?" I demanded!
His voice calmed me immediately.
He said, "You are in a very special place. You are safe."
He went on to explain that, though
my body was in the hospital, it was my physical body and
that each of us has also our spiritual body and our mental
He said, "It is your mental and
spiritual body that is here. It is with your mental and
spiritual eyes that you see this place. Likewise, it is
through your mental and spiritual body senses that you perceive
everything in and about this place. This place is in your
mind's eye, your imagination; it is as it is because this
is exactly what you need it to be. Your physical crisis
and mental need caused it to be just as you perceive it.
I am here too without a physical body. You see me as I see
myself in my own mind's eye. A mental picture (a thought)
from my mind to your mind's eye. I am as you see me because
this is the way that I perceived that you needed me to be.
Who I am or my name is not important. I am here for you
on behalf of your heavenly Father's love for you and to
remind you from where you came."
My first thought was - The hospital?
He smiled a smile of wisdom and
patience beyond wisdom itself and said lovingly, "No, I
mean your Father's house."
It was then at that moment that
I realized that I knew everything that he was saying was
true and that I had known this consciously before I was
born to this Earth to have a physical body. I remembered
that I was also a spiritual and mental body (being), and
it all made perfect sense. I even remembered coming through
the veil to find and choose my physical body. I was mildly
puzzled that I could have even forgotten such things - when
he reminded me that to have/experience a physical life -
it was necessary to at least for a while, forget a little
of our prior knowledge so that we might more fully experience
the physical things, be physically challenged, make choices
of free agency, and yes, even make mistakes so that we could
learn from them in ways that only a physical life could
If we retained all of our prior
knowledge, we might not bother to experience the physical
life for its fulfillment - we might decide to skip the pain
and thus miss the pleasure. I also remembered the promise
I had made to my heavenly Father upon accepting the opportunity,
challenges and responsibility of a physical life. To make
the most of this opportunity for myself and for him. To
return to my Father's house with the knowledge and experience
gained such that likewise, my Father (Creator) could be
enhanced by the experience. It was upon this basis that
I realized why we need to experience a separation of our
total reality when we take a physical body. That is because
in order for us to appreciate, benefit, and learn all we
can from our physical life, we must seemingly have to re-discover
what we knew before - now in physical ways. Likewise, through
this physical life we must discover how to return to our
heavenly Father. By the good that we do to each other here,
by the ways we improve our minds, and by the ways that we
learn to cope with a physical body and physical life, do
we earn our right of safe passage back to our Father's house;
and in so doing, do we likewise magnify and glorify (honor)
our Father. It is our Father's love that sends us on the
journey and it is our love for him that will allow us to
go back home to his loving arms again.
As soon as I had remembered all
that I needed to know, my loving, special friend disappeared.
This was a wonderful place; it
was everything I needed it to be. I not only remembered
and could see from where I came, I could also see and remember
where I was going, the many things that I was supposed to
do. I knew when I chose this life that it would be challenging.
I knew that I would be responsible for finding a physical
life mate and that, together, we would accept the responsibility
of providing new physical life so that others of God's children
(creation) could likewise share in a physical experience
for themselves. I knew that I would be responsible for choosing
between good and evil so that my life would serve to glorify
my heavenly Father upon my return to him.
As I continued to ponder and
re-affirm these things, I felt very refreshed and again
more conscious of my garden place. I turned and noticed
a small winding path leading up to the crest of this rugged
mountain. I had not noticed this path before, but it was
there now and it beckoned me. I got up from my marble bench
and began making my way up the steep access of the path.
It was difficult and my footing was very unsure. As I reached
the top, I looked down upon a beautiful meadow on the other
side. It was so tempting. There were flowers of every description
and color. A beautiful brook flowed playfully through the
meadow, and I made my way through the lush grass to be by
its side. The brook was only a few inches deep. The water
flowed quickly. I picked up some pebbles and tossed them
one by one into the water. I was about to turn away and
leave when I looked on the other side of the stream and
saw a beautiful white light much like sunbeams. From this
beautiful light a figure appeared. It was clothed in white
robes and white light such that I could scarcely tell the
difference. I could not make out a face - but I clearly
saw hands. These hands stretched out to me and a voice said:
"Will you come unto me?"
Without hesitation I stepped
into the water, then I paused. I was shaking all over. Then
I remembered that I had a life to learn and experience.
I turned; and as I stepped out of the water, I said "No,
I still have many things which I must do."
I made my way quickly, running
as fast as I could back up to the top of the hill and back
down that winding path, nearly falling several times. As
soon as my feet touched the floor of my beautiful marble
garden, I was consciously back in my physical body, awake,
and suddenly in more physical pain than I ever thought possible.
My body was in five-way traction, and I was barely touching
the bed. Everything hurt.
My first conscious thought was,
"Big mistake - boy, I've done it now! I've screwed up big
time! That white figure was Jesus and I told him, "No!"
I don't know whether I cried
more from the physical pain I was in or the spiritual and
mental torment I was having over this decision. Later through
prayer and meditation, I have been comforted. I now understand
and have so often reflected that through this experience
I was being offered a choice. A choice which I, and each
of us, have the right to make. My heavenly Father has such
a profound love for me and all of his children, for that
matter, that I was offered through his son Jesus the opportunity
to come back to him right then.
His love is so great for his
children that he was and is willing to sacrifice his potential
for glory. Fortunately for me, I have the opportunity on
his behalf to experience a physical life; and hopefully
in doing so, I will ultimately magnify and glorify my heavenly
Father and more so than if I had accepted grace and forgone
I did not realize that my garden
experience had lasted for twenty-one days, until I was told
by my doctors and nurses that I had been in a coma all that
time. It was from this experience that I was able to draw
enough strength and energy to rehabilitate my body, learn
to walk again, and do all the things that I have been able
to do so far in my life.
I am telling you this story,
one, because I needed to tell it; two, because, perhaps
you needed to hear it; and, three, because it allows me
a credible basis for sharing with you much of the magic
that can enhance a physical life.