|Don Brubaker's Near-Death
Brubaker led a relatively normal life; happily married with
three children and a busy broadcasting career, he rarely
questioned life and death. After his heart attack and near-death
experience, however, everything changed.
was clinically dead for 45 minutes. During this time he
experienced the glory of heaven - and he also journeyed
into hell. This is the true story of one man's journey into
What follows is an excerpt from
Absent From The Body.
You will find his near-death experience to be unique among
other near-death experiences because of the fact that he
actually travels through time to experience one of history's
There was a sudden whoosh, and
I saw a large glowing red ball approaching me, almost like
the light on the front of a train. In that instant, as the
red ball rushed toward me, I knew terror like never before.
As it approached, I realized that it was really a large,
eerie red eye. It stopped when it got close to me, and then
began traveling alongside me through the tunnel. I could
hardly stand to look at it, its gaze was so piercing. It
felt like it was looking right into my mind, into my very
I was plunging into the depths of this horrible tunnel.
I glanced at the walls of the tunnel, walls of deep black
whirring past me like video footage on fast forward. Yes,
I was still there, still falling millions of miles into
some terrible pit. And yet, there I was, lying deathlike
on a hospital bed. I could see myself there, and it panicked
me all the more.
- suddenly I realized that I was seeing the hospital room
through the red eye. It was absurd to me that I hadn't realized
this before - and yet I could hardly process my thoughts.
It was all too bizarre.
started building in my mind as it began to dawn on me where
I was, suspended in this dank tube. As the red eye glowered
at me, the thoughts began to arrange themselves, coalescing
slowly. Suddenly, the idea was undeniable.
swept over me like an ocean wave, unstoppable though I tried
desperately to dismiss it. Hell! I didn't even believe in
hell! And here I was? This was it?
only the briefest moment to react to the thought when a
deep, comfortable voice echoed through the tunnel.
no fear, my son," the voice said with a certain resounding
nobility, "for I am with you. I have chosen you to write
about the experiences you will go through."
too unreal. I had never been given to believe in "missions
from God" and the like anyway. And yet here was a voice
that I knew was God's telling me I had been selected for
this is God, why is God here, in this darkness?
the voice responded to my unspoken doubts.
first experience hell," God said evenly, with a tone of
complete control, "to prove to you the reality of evil.
You've only believed that there was goodness. You must see
for yourself that hell is real. And then you can tell others
about the awful reality of hell, and about the beautiful
glory of heaven."
was a low murmuring all around me, as if I were in the midst
of a huge group of grumbling people. Before me, suddenly,
stood a huge black door. The air began to glow and shimmer
with oppressive heat.
as the door opened upon a vast, flaming oven. I felt myself
drawn like a magnet into the center of the flames - although
I was terrified to go in. There were hundreds of others
already there, roasting to death, but not dead. Once I was
inside, the door slammed shut behind me. The worst, dreadfulest
feelings sloshed around inside me, like so much poison.
actually what hell is?" I asked aloud.
my hands through blue-tipped flames. The fire itself was
cold, and it did not hurt me. From nowhere, a thought flashed
through my mind: Death, where is thy sting? God, even in
the midst of this holocaust, was truly in control of everything.
I began to laugh, and the others laughed with me. Our laughter
bounced off the walls of the oven and echoed over the roar
of the flames.
as if someone had flipped the channel selector, I was alone
again in darkness.
wearily. I could not regulate my feelings, and now I was
feeling abandoned and lonely. I longed to be with my family.
I wanted to tell them how much I loved them. I needed to
tell everyone how much God loved them!
will tell others about me, Don," the voice of God said,
out of nowhere. "That is your mission. That is why you are
going through these experiences."
learn to love others, to have compassion and to forgive
them. You must live that others may see me in you."
In a flash,
I could recall every person I had ever held a grudge against,
every quarrel I had ever left unresolved.
I am enveloped and floating in a deep, electric blue sky.
It is the most amazing and beautiful blue I have ever seen.
It feels velvety soft. The air seems to sparkle with purity.
I am at peace, feeling restful, serene.
a light moving toward me. It is bluish white and gives off
small yellow flashes and sparks at the edges, growing in
intensity until it is almost too intense to look into.
is a figure in the middle of the light. My very being leaps
in recognition that this is Jesus Christ. It's Christ coming
toward me. I gaze at his extraordinarily handsome face.
The eyes are full of love and acceptance. I am immersed
in a feeling of joy and hope and all good things.
voice rings gently, like the sound of tiny, pleasant silver
do you want to stay here, or do you wish to go back?"
to answer. I am wrapped in a warm sense of love and peace.
The color is such a pleasure to see and feel. And Jesus
indicates no impatience.
that I am grinning like a little boy getting his first puppy.
I am seeing
God's own Son. This is the Lord. This is Jesus!
a soft sense of sadness creeps into my thoughts. I think
of my dear family. I can sense the sorrow they would feel
if I were gone. I know I must go back to them, that I have
work to do.
about that. It was God who gave me my mission. Why, then,
if God wants me to minister to others, is Jesus offering
me an opportunity to stay here in heaven?
surfaced from my own thoughts. This is a test. Again, Christ
speaks: "Don, do you want to stay or go back?"
to go back," I answered immediately, knowing I made the
chosen well. Go. I am with you," Jesus says gently.
changes again, as if someone has turned a page in a book.
I see myself in the midst of a huge crowd. It's not a modern
crowd. They are dressed in the clothes of Bible times. I
look down at myself. So am I!
seems to be jeering at me. Why? Then I see more: I help
a man, someone who has been brutally whipped and abused.
The crowd is upset because I am offering assistance. But
the beaten man has eyes that burn with love and compassion.
anyone want to hurt this man? I lift the man off of the
dusty road to his feet.
turns, and from somewhere he lifts a huge wooden cross to
his back. The man begins moving toward a hill. The hill
is called Golgotha. With each new moment, I realize more
and more clearly what I am seeing.
people are going to crucify Christ.
stunned, I watch in horror as Jesus is nailed to the cross,
the spikes pounded through his wrists and the sensitive
insteps of his feet. I watch helpless as the cross is propped
up and dropped into position with an ugly thud. I cover
my face with my hands.
others could see what I've seen. The world would get on
its knees ... The world would be at peace.
near-death experience ends here)